Life Can Change In A HeartBeat!
by Loves2Shop
Summary: Brooke is pregnant and feels alone... The love of her life Lucas Scott cheated on her with of course her bestfriend Peyton Sawyer and now everything has gone to hell and she doesn't know what to do with the only options of abortion or keeping it. What does she do when life becomes more horrific when something terrible happens... she leaves tree hill... but will she go back?
1. Time To Make A Decision

**Oi Oi You Sexy readers… I am back and with a new story****… LIFE CAN CHANGE IN A HEARTBEAT… I had this chapter typed up on my memory card and I found it weeks ago and thought I'd go**** with it and make it my new project of mine which I am loving at the moment… I didn't want to upload until I had at least 5 to 6 chapters and now that I have I can upload and carry on with it and see how many people like it…**

**I also have like 3 other stories I'm working with, but this one I really wanted to get out there since I haven't written one like this before because I'm such a fan of Brooke Davis and I really didn't want to write a story where she hurts so bad, but I was talking to one of my friends who happens to be a fanfic writer and she agreed that the story should go this way and not the other way… so I just hope you all don't hate me and stay with me throughout this story.**

**Also I have a reader who seems to love my work and has asked me months ago to upload one of my new stories, so I am partly doing this for them, but also to see who else would like it… So please read and review to let me know what you think and of course if you have any ideas that will go with the way I'm going with this story then you can leave them either in a review or private message me****…**

**So anyway here is the first chapter and I hope you enjoy!**

Abortion... That was the only thing running through my head as I sat in my living room in my big house by myself with the door locked, lights off and curtains closed.

Four weeks ago my life had been perfect... Not family perfect because my parents died when I was 10, but social life perfect, I had a boyfriend I loved a bestfriend I adored, but then everything changed and life became a nightmare when I found out my bestfriend had slept with my boyfriend which I only found out because I thought I'd do the honourable thing and go see my meant to be boyfriend and make sure he was okay after the accident he got into, but when I did; I found him and my bestfriend in bed together. Yep webcams are just as much proof as seeing it with my own two eyes. I was crushed. I never thought my bestfriend could do that too me so I did the only thing I could think of... I ran.

Now four weeks later I'm sitting in my living room in my house with the door locked; lights off and curtains closed with the white stick on the coffee table with two thin lines of pink confirming that I am indeed pregnant. I didn't know what to do or what to think, but the only solution I could think off was abortion... No one had to know, I could go to the clinic tomorrow and book an appointment and then put the whole thing behind me. I then put both legs up on the couch I was sitting on and held them up against my body. I was scared. I'm alone and all because Lucas had slept with Peyton weeks before. Telling Lucas was the next option I had thought off, but doing that would make it real and at the moment at this moment of time I wanted to just think of it as a bad dream before going school tomorrow and telling Lucas the truth... I've decided that telling him that I'm indeed pregnant with his baby at only 18 was the better option because this is all too scary to deal with alone.

'_**You've reached Bran**__**don Davis. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now. Leave your name and message at the beep and I'll get back to you when I can' **_That is about the 10th time I've called him since those two pink lines showed up on that little white stick. And that would be my big brother Brandon who always told me he'd protect me from hurt, but his nowhere to be found.

Next I try my sister Ashley who went off to college last year and hasn't been heard from since… oh no wait I got a post card from LA last week saying she was staying with friends. So much for going to college and sticking it out. I dial her number and heard it ring three times before it reaches her voicemail _**'Congratulations you've reached Ashley Davis last year's Tree Hill High Prom Queen and ex cheer capt**__**ain. If it's really important I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Just leave your digits after the tone'**_ I roll my eyes at her voice and hang up. I guess I'm truly on my own. I get up from the couch and slowly walked up to my room taking the test with me burying it under my pillow away from sight, away from mind so I thought. Tomorrow was going to be a long ass day.

Waking up the next day it almost felt like a dream until I put my hand slowly under my pillow and felt the white stick where I had put it. I sighed grabbing the test and throwing it across the room it landing in the door way of my bathroom, I pulled the covers away from my small frame and got out of bed. Walking into my bathroom having a quick wash before putting on a white skirt, my pink blouse and my pink pumps. Heels just weren't needed today, not for the mood I'm in.

-xx-

Pulling into the school parking lot I could see Lucas and Peyton laughing with Haley and Nathan like nothing had happened not one of them knowing the truth. No one, but me knowing what was really going on. The fact that I now have a baby growing inside me. Just that concept made my belly sink a little. What was I going to do? I have a human inside my belly. My baby. No I thought to myself. I can't be thinking like this. I can't call it a baby, not now, not ever, but I couldn't help it, I ran my hand over my still flat stomach as I checked myself in the mirror in my car before opening my car door grabbing my bag before slamming the door shut catching everyone's attention. I could feel Lucas's eyes on me. I ignored him for the moment and walked pass all of them entering the school. Walking up to my locker I put my combination into the lock and hear the click opening it I took out my English book and put my history book in its place then shutting the locker and heading down the corridor "You wasn't in Calculus yesterday?" A voice I knew all too well said behind me. 

"Checking up on me aye?" It was more of a statement, but came out as a question. When I didn't get a reply I spoke again "Wasn't feeling all that good not like it's any of your business anymore anyway" I reply turning the corner. The voice following "What is it you want Lucas?" I give a loud sigh wishing he'd leave me alone. 

"You too talk to me" He answers running in front of me to stop me from walking. 

"You're in my way" I say circling him "And I don't want to talk to you" 

"Brooke…" He pleads "We didn't mean to hurt you" Lucas yelled. Was he joking? Ha his one funny dude.

"So you keep saying" I turn to face him "You properly didn't mean for me to catch you either" I laugh bitterly walking backwards "Just like I sure as hell didn't mean to fall in love with you" I then turn and keep walking putting my finger up at him "I'm the stupid one to think you could ever be different" 

"Brooke" Lucas pushes "I am different, I - just..."

I shake my head stopping him "No Lucas... I don't want to hear it " I stop for a minute "I'm late for class " I then start walking again turning the corner and heading to my class before I was really late.

-xx-

I walk into class as the bell rang. So close to being late again. I walk to my sit and see Mr Lawrence walk in with a stack of papers. Great our essays from last month. The one we had to write about the most important person in our lives. The one I wrote about Lucas, because at the time he was the most important person in my life just like Peyton was.

"I'm going to hand out your essays from last month. Some of you done really good and others I need more from you" Mr Lawrence came to my desk and dropped my paper on the table I was sat at. To my surprise a big capital letter A was written at the top. A smile came across my face, I worked so hard on that paper and it successfully got me a big fat A "Well done Miss Davis, the best paper of the class" Mr Lawrence gave me a smile and walked back to the front of the class. My morning had just become awesome. 59 minutes had come by well fast and class was over. The bell would ring in 30 seconds when Mr Lawrence wrote a new assignment on the black board "I'd like you to write 1000 words on something life changing that has happened in the last month" I look down at my flat stomach. Well I guess I'll be writing about either being cheated on and betrayed by the two people I thought loved me or I'll write about my unborn baby I was thinking about getting rid of. The bell rang bringing me out of my thoughts. I gathered up my things and headed for the library. Free periods always ended up boring.

Opening the library door I saw it was empty. Mrs Browning had her glasses on the edge of her nose like always looking through the book shelves making sure everything was in place. I stalked to a spare computer and log on clicking on the internet icon waiting for Google to come up. Typing in 'abortion' I clicked search. Loads of sites appeared on the screen. I scanned the page and was too scared to go any further. Could I really do that? Could I really get rid of my baby? Isn't that classed as murder? Do I really want to be the girl who got knocked up at 18 and then murdered her unborn baby "Shit what do I do?" I curse at myself. 

"About what?" My eyes widen and I close down the page quickly turning to see Lucas standing behind me. 

"Shouldn't you be in class?" I ask logging out and standing up to leave. I'll do the research another time I thought to myself. 

"Shouldn't you?" He asked with a raised eye brow. 

"I have a free period, what's your excuse?" I walk pass him and too the door. 

"I was looking for you" 

"Well you found me" I say sarcastically walking out of the library and too the car park. Lucas following me. 

"Where you going?" Lucas questions as we stop by my car. I take my keys out of my bag and open the car door throwing my bag on the passenger seat. 

"Home" I reply with a sigh. 

"Brooke" Lucas grabs my arm spinning me to face him "Please... Let's talk" 

"Okay fine" I take my arm from his grasp "Let's talk... What shall we talk about huh?" I bring a finger to my chin tapping it softly "Oh yeah let's talk about the fact that my boyfriend slept with my bestfriend behind my back when I was worried about his safety" 

"Brooke I apologise for that. I'm really sorry" Lucas says not looking at me "Peyton and I wasn't meant to happen. It just…" 

"It just did right" I shake my head giving a dry laugh. I see his face drop and he hangs his head "How did I guess that was gonna come out your mouth next" 

"Let me explain okay" Lucas says. I didn't say anything so he carried on "I was hurt and I was confused and you weren't here. You were away, so Peyton came over to check I was okay after the accident and we were talking and then she tells me she is worried for me and I just..." 

"I'm pregnant" I interrupt him not knowing if I was meaning too say it or not. I just wanted out. I didn't want to hear the bullshit he was telling me about him and Peyton and about that night. 

"W-What?" Lucas asks open mouthed "Y-Your w-what?" 

"Pregnant" I repeat seeing the light in his eyes go out and shock written all over. 

"Brooke" Lucas says my name and I shake my head as he walks closer to me signalling for him to stop where he is "Is it mine" My eyes shot back at him and I swear if looks could kill oh my Lucas Scott would be dead right now. My eyes turned angry and cold. How dare he ask me that? Of course it was his baby... Our baby. What a fricking dickhead. 

"I can't believe you just asked me that" I say getting into my car and shutting the door locking it putting down the roof. 

"I didn't mean any offence" He defended himself once the roof to my car was down. I shook my head at him again "It's not like I'm the only guy you've slept with Brooke" He was asking to get bitch slapped.

"You're the one that slept with my bestfriend while we were dating Luke, so don't try and sound all Mr Innocent when you're far from it" I turn the key and start the engine "It's yours" I simply say putting my sunglasses on "But don't worry Luke I'm sorting it" 

"What does that mean?" Lucas asks with a worried look replacing the shock on his face. 

"It means there will be no baby tomorrow" I answer putting the car in gear and driving off. 

"Brooke... Wait" Was all I heard in the distance.

Driving through Tree Hill always seemed to calm me down. I parked up at the river court turning off the engine and getting out striding over to the benches and placing my small bum on it. This had always been my thinking place way before I knew Lucas used to play there with his boys before joining the Tree Hill Ravens. The wind started to blow, but surprisingly I didn't feel cold, I just felt numb properly from all the hurt my ex bestfriend and ex-boyfriend had put me through for the last four weeks, now I had to go through the baby problem by myself because yet I couldn't trust anything that Lucas would say to me when he finally found me or tomorrow at school. I had thought about ditching school and calling in sick, but then it was game day tomorrow so I couldn't do that. The head cheerleader had to be at the game unless I was dying and since I wasn't; ditching school wasn't an option. Hours had passed so I decided it was best if I headed home to an empty house. I climbed off the bench and headed to my car getting in and heading home.

-xx-

School seemed to be going better than I thought it would. I had been ditching Lucas ever since I had seen him staring at me across the quad while Haley had been talking to him. I had wrapped my cardigan around me as protection and heading into the school hoping to not bump into him. Once I entered my combination into the lock a little folded up paper had fallen to the floor. I looked around seeing no one, so I bent down slowly picking it up and holding it in my hand. I took out my Calculus book and shut my locker door. Leaning against the locker I unfolded the piece of paper I had retrieved from the floor. Reading it I rolled my eyes scrunching the paper up and throwing in the nearby trash can. It simply read in his neat handwriting.

_**We need to talk. At yours after school. I'll be there at 4**_

So he wants to talk, but when everything came out about him and Peytwhore he was nowhere to be found days after I confronted him. I then see him walking in through the double doors from the quad. Peyton by his side. Yeah so much for them not being together. Rolling my eyes I walk down the corridor and into a spear class that I thought was empty until I heard someone cough to make them known. I turn around slowly to see the other brown headed brown eyed Scott boy sitting at a desk studying so it looked like anyway.

"Greeeat another Scott boy" I mumbled to myself "God I hope Dan Scott stopped having kids otherwise we'd have a bunch of jackasses or bitches running around town breaking girls or guys hearts"

"Hmm" The sound came from Nathan. Was he thinking? I don't know "I'm not sure if I should be offended at all by that comment" Nathan says with a little smile playing on his lips.

"I wasn't talking to you hot shot" I hiss at him "I was thinking out loud"

"Oh I see" Nathan started writing back in the note book he had on the desk in front of him "I think I'm gonna take offence to that now"

"Doesn't bother me Natey boy" I shrug "It should be clear for me to go out there now" I whisper to myself.

"Hiding from Luke" Nathan questions not looking up from the note book, but knowing I was looking at him "He was looking for you this morning"

"Yeah right… I just saw him with Peyton" I turn to look at the raven haired Scott boy "Besides if he was looking for me he can look all he likes" I then look out the window on the door "I'm heading out. Laters hot shot"

"Yeah bye Davis" Nathan gave a small smile as I retreated from the class room and headed to my actual class. The one Lucas was in, but at least I wouldn't have to talk to him.

-xx-

"Hey Brooke" I'm sitting on a bench in the quad at lunch when I hear the voice approach.

"Well if it isn't my skanky ex bestfriend" I say moving my eyes back to my salad I was picking at. Not a big eater now days.

"Okay I deserve that" Peyton mutters. I'm not sure to herself or me, but I look back up to her.

"Nah Peyton you deserve a whole lot more" I start to pack my lunch away in my bag and grab my phone.

"Brooke can we talk?" She asks and I just want to laugh. She and Lucas have got to be kidding me "Pleeasseee" she pleaded.

I give along sigh "What's there to talk about Peyton?" I reply "I was out of town to visit my Aunt and Uncle, but come back as soon as Haley tells me Lucas was in an accident to find you in bed with him… That's all the facts so there is nothing more to talk about"

"It wasn't like that Brooke" Peyton tries to assure me "Let me explain please"

"Fine explain"

"He begged you too stay and not go Brooke, but you left anyway and then he hated himself because he shouldn't have said that since it was only two weeks so he got drunk thinking he lost you and drove home only to get hit by another car, so I was only going over there to check up on him, but things got heated and…"

"And you thought you'd sleep with your bestfriends boyfriend"

"You weren't here Brooke. He was hurt real bad and you wasn't here, so what kind of girlfriend did that make you" I stand up real fast being right in front of her and then suddenly my hand collided with Peyton's face so hard it made her head turn. How dare she say that to me?

"How dare you?" I spit at her "I was on the first flight back when he got in the accident. I came rushing back because the guy I am utterly in love with was in an accident and I was scared to lose him. So when I get back to Tree Hill Haley tells me it wasn't that bad of an accident and that he was home, so I went to go see him and instead I saw him at your house in your bed. So don't you dare say I wasn't a good girlfriend when you wasn't a good bestfriend" I then walk pass her and head to my car. No classes this afternoon. Time for me to go home.

-xx-

I was sitting at the island in my kitchen looking down at the number I found on the internet. I kept turning the paper around, my phone beside it just staring at both. I took a deep breathe picking up my phone and tapping in the number and pressing the call button. It starts ringing and I debate whether or not to hang up when I heard a voice answer on the other line.

"_**Hello this is Tree Hills young people clinic, how may I help you?" **_A youngish sounding lady answered the phone. She seemed nice, but it was properly in her job description to be non-judgmental.

"Oh… erm… hi" I stutter into the phone. My words catching a little in my throat. I take a sip of my water and feel my throat automatically clear "I was just wondering if I could book an appointment"

"_**Of course you can darling**_" I hear the sweet voice say. I can hear some clicking on the computer she was typing at _**"What would the appointment be for?"**_

"An abortion if possible" I whisper hating the way it sounded coming from my mouth. It felt like a bad taste I couldn't get rid of.

"_**Okay sweetie"**_ I wait on the line as I still hear some clicking going on _**"What's your name honey?"**_

"Brooke" I tell her "Brooke Davis"

"_**Okay"**_ She mutters to me _**"Age**__** please**__**"**_

"18" I whisper feeling ashamed of having this conversation with anyone let alone a lady I don't know.

"_**You go to school Brooke?"**_ She asks I nod my head even though she can't see me.

"Yes I do"

"_**Okay honey how about tomorrow after school?"**_ She asks _**"We have**__** a slot for 4:00"**_

"Yeah that will be fine thank you" I take a deep breath.

"_**Okay"**_ The lady says to me _**"Tomorrow at 4:00 in the afternoon, all booked for you sweetie; we'll see you tomorrow to 4:00" **_

"Thank you" I reply before quickly hanging up. That must have been the longest phone call of my life.

**So there you have it… the first chapter is over and there is so much more to come…Does Brooke go through the abortion…Do she and Lucas get through this together? Is Brooke really alone? Stay tuned in to find out… Hope you all are having an awesome weekend and don't get too drunk or better yet…have a drink for me… Much love always…**

**xxRochiieexx**


	2. Should I Do It Can I Do It!

_**So the first chapter wasn't a big hit since I only got one review which I'm grateful for. I was just gonna delete this story and write it for me, but my mate told me not to give up yet and carrying on with this story and to have faith so I'm only carrying on because of her. I'll carry on updating, but if I get to chapter 6 and I don't get more reviews then I'm sorry to say that I won't update after that because I don't see the point updating if no one reads it or tells me what they think… so if you are reading please please please review!**_

_**Anyway here is chapter 2 which I must say I prefer to the first chapter so I do understand why I only got one review, but if you bare with me I hope you'll like the rest of the story.**_

Telling Lucas… how the hell was I going to tell the guy who fathered my baby that I was going this afternoon to get rid of it. I walk up the couple of steps to the front doors of the school and enter walking down the hall slowly to my locker. I put my combination in and turn the lock to open it, but when I do a little gift bag is sitting on my history book. I put my English book in and take the bag out peering inside to find the cutest all in one suit with a matching hat. It was a beige colour with little bears all over. It was so cute.

"Do you like it?" I turned around to see Haley standing behind me. It's been weird between us ever since I found out about Lucas and Peyton and I think that's because Lucas is her bestfriend and it puts her in the middle so I don't blame her. We haven't talked in a long time, but not because of the whole Lucas and Peyton thing, but because I've been busy trying to deal with this pregnancy and she's been busy doing whatever it is she's been doing… I have missed my tutor girl.

"I love it" I tell her bringing her into a tight hug "You didn't have to"

"Of course I did" She smiles at me "That's my niece or nephew in there" I stand quiet for a second not knowing what to say now because I didn't want to say 'Oh it won't be for long' how could I? I didn't know how I was going to tell Lucas so telling Haley would be even harder since I know for a fact she'll try and talk me out of it, but I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it. It's the right thing to do. I have to do it riiight?

"How did you find out?" I ask knowing I only told Lucas.

"Luke told me… he was scared and needed someone to talk to" She answers and I just nod as she smiles at me.

The ring of the school bell was heard bringing me out of my thoughts. I fold the all in one suit up and put it back in the bag in my locker "Well I better get going, class and all" I tell Haley shutting my locker and walking pass her "Oh and Hales"

"Yeah?" She turns to me

"Thanks" I give a small smile before turning and walking to class.

-x-

So everyone now knows that I'm pregnant and I don't know how because I sure as hell didn't tell anyone. Maybe someone overheard Haley and me talking this morning by my locker or maybe someone overheard Haley and Lucas talking yesterday, well anyway everyone knows and it's all weird. Walking down to my locker I'm still getting the odd smiles here and there even teachers are now smiling at me, but in that staff room I bet I'm the main topic. Gosh it's actually starting to get on my nerves now.

I stand by my locker when I see Peyton walking towards me. Oh what does this bitch want now "Go away" I tell her before she can open her mouth.

"Brooke I'm sorry" She says for about the millionth time "I really am about yesterday and what I said. I didn't mean any of it and I miss you"

"I needed you Peyt" I turn to look at her "I needed you more than I've needed you in the past and where do I find you my bestfriend of 10 years; I find you in bed with the love of my life, so I'm sorry Peyton, but your 'I'm sorries' don't mean anything to me anymore"

"You were out of town Brooke. Hell you were out of the state" Peyton tells me. I slam my locker shut. My anger coming back.

"Don't you dare!" I shout at her all eyes of the corridor looking at us including Lucas's. I could feel his ocean blue eyes on mine "Don't you dare try and turn this one on me when you know deep down that this is all on you" I then turn and walk the other way heading for anywhere, but there right now.

-x-

"So we going to talk about this or not?" Lucas says sitting down opposite me at the picnic table. I take a bite of my apple bringing my eyes from my book to look up at him saying nothing "Brooke come on, talk to me"

"We tried that yesterday" I sigh taking another bite of my apple "Didn't go so well"

"Brooke we need to discuss the matter" Lucas tells me like I'm not aware of that, but it doesn't matter now that I'm taking care of it. This time tomorrow I won't be pregnant anymore and my life can go back to normal.

"What's there to discuss?" I question locking my honey brown eyes onto his ocean blue ones "I told you yesterday I'll deal with it and I am"

"What does that mean though Brooke?"

"Exactly what I said yesterday" I shrug like it wasn't a big deal, but it is a big deal and just thinking about my appointment is freaking me out, but I'm not going to let Lucas see that.

"So you got rid?" He mutters I think more to himself than me, but I heard him anyway.

"No" I shake my head seeing his eye snap down to meet mine once again "Not yet anyway, I'm going after school"

"Brooke…" I shake my head stopping him.

"You have no say Lucas and after yesterday you're lucky I'm even still here talking to you" I growl at him "So don't look at me like that. Like I'm the bad person because I'm not. I just want my life back"

"It's my baby too Brooke" His eyes look so hurt, but right now I have to look pass that. I have to look pass him. He hurt me way too much for me to actually care what his feeling at this exact moment.

"No" I put my book into my bag and throw my apple in the nearby trash can "Just no Lucas. I am going today at 4:00 and then my life can go back to normal" I turn to walk away when I hear him mutter after me.

"Your life will never be normal again Brooke no matter what you choose to do" I stop for a minute and I know his right. I know the moment those two pink lines showed on that test that my life had changed forever. I just hoped that if I wasn't pregnant anymore then I can go back to being preppy Brooke Davis, but just like Lucas had to remind me that no matter what I do today after school at 4:00 my life will never be the same. I'd either be the girl who got knocked up and killed her baby or the girl who got knocked up and decided to keep the baby, so either way my life will never be the same. I don't turn to respond I just carry on walking a tear slipping down my cheek.

-x-

This was the moment of the day that I was petrified at. Making the phone call I just about got through last night, but now I'm sitting in my car outside the clinic watching the protesters marching around in a circle holding up posters. It was 3:45, I had 15 minutes and I was shitting myself. I take a deep breathe turn my car engine off and grab my bag getting out the car. I lock the door and head towards the clinic.

"Don't kill your baby" A ginger headed girl says to me.

"Abortion is murder" I hear another brown headed girl shout.

"You have no right" I turn my head and see a blond headed girl stand there beside me. She looked youngish like maybe my age "Just don't kill your baby" I look away from her "It's a life you created" I try to block out her words, so I just head into the clinic. I walk slowly up to the counter and see a youngish lady sitting at the desk.

"Hey, how may I help you?" She gives me a smile and I start to relax a little. She looked maybe in her mid-twenties.

"Erm…" I trail off when I hear another protester shout.

"Don't kill your baby. Don't do it"

"They've been out there since we've opened the clinic" The lady tells me her name badge saying Sally "Don't worry about them" I nod looking back at her.

"I have an appointment at 4:00" I tell her getting a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Okay" She smiles again "Name please"

"Brooke… Brooke Davis" I mutter awkwardly standing there wearing the overly big hoodie that Lucas gave me when we were dating.

"Okay well Brooke if you fill out these forms for me, the doctor will call you in a little while" Sally gives me a clip board with form attached. I grabbed the pen she handed me and headed over to a spear seat.

I looked around and saw there were about 10 other young looking girls here and unless you were getting a check-up for any STD's I'm guessing they are all here for the same reason I am. I start to fill in the forms I was given when I heard one girl start speaking to I believe was her friend beside her "This is the second time I'm doing this" My eyes widened. Was she actually being serious? "I should really get the pill or make Johnny where an extra condom. I haven't got time to keep coming here" Woooow what a heartless bitch. I turn from listening to her and her friend and look down at the form seeing the question asking why I was here… there were boxes next to each answer… I looked at the abortion answer and just stared at it. What was I doing here? I can't be known as the girl who got herself knocked up and then murdered her baby. I would not be that girl no matter what happens I can't do this.

I stand up and head back over to the desk. Sally turning back to me "Hey Brooke you finished?"

I shake my head giving her back the clip board with my form attached "I can't do it" I mutter wrapping my arm around my stomach "I just can't"

"Its okay honey" Sally gives a warm smile "I hope everything goes well for you Brooke" I nod hoping the same thing "You'll be a great Mom" I smile at that.

"Thank you" I then head out back to my car. Happy that I didn't get rid of my baby. Happy I still had him or her growing inside me.

-x-

I ran into my house, ran to my room and shot for my bed crawling myself under my covers and just lying there as the tears start to fall heavy. My sobs making my whole body tremble. I'm now utterly and totally screwed and all because I made the most life changing commitment ever and decided to keep my baby. All the midnight feedings and never sleeping again are yet to come and that isn't what I'm scared about. I'm scared that I'm going to have no one to help me. My parents died, My Brothers AWOL and My sister isn't answering my calls either.

Lucas had texted me about an hour ago asking me if I went through with it. I just replied with a simple no and he didn't reply. I hear the door of my room slowly creep open the squeak of the door shutting again. I could feel his presence anywhere. The warmth of his body known throughout my room. I didn't move from my position under my covers I just stayed there wanting to desperately disappear right that moment hoping if I closed my eyes tight enough then I would finally wake up and this would all be a terrible nightmare, but no matter how much I tried nothing happened. I was still in the situation I'm in.

"Brooke" His voice cracked and I thought I could almost hear him crying. I felt his weight on my bed. He kicked off his shoes and got under my covers. I must admit having him here makes me feel safe and for a simple moment I felt that we could do this together "Why'd you changed your mind" He whispers to me. I shift in my bed turning to face him. My hand under my cheek as I lay there beside him "What changed your mind" he continues looking at me.

"I can't be the girl who got knocked up and then murdered her baby" I tell him with a small shrug.

That's all that's been running through my head and when I walked into that clinic for the appointment I had booked I looked around at all the other teenage girls and saw there were so many all waiting to get rid of their babies and most of them weren't fazed by it. I had even heard one girl say to her friend it was the second time she'd come and that's when I knew I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't kill my baby and then live to tell the tale so I bolted and drove home clutching my stomach as if I was protecting it.

"I'm sorry Brooke" I nod as I feel his warm hand connect with my face moving a piece of hair and knocking away the tear that escapes from the corner of my eye "We'll do this together though okay" I don't say or do anything I just look at him "I promise" I swallow the big lump in my throat and just nod because I didn't know what else to do. Lucas wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me into him… This felt like where I was meant to be and I'll admit I miss it… I miss him.

_**So there it is chapter 2… Please let me know what you think by hitting the review button below… Love you all loads… Roch xoxo**_


	3. Not Knowing What I Want

**Hello again my gorgeous readers… Thank you all so much for reading and following my story. I am so happy you all like it and even though I'm not getting much reviews I am getting followers so I will carry on with this story as many of you have told me not to stop and your wish is my command. **

**So one review had asked me to put LPOV in this chapter and I was stuck on what to write for that because I had already written this chapter and was happy with it, but I put the LPOV at the beginning. It was risky move because I don't know if this is what you meant when you asked for a LPOV, but it was what came to me and I just hope you like it.**

**So a lot more is coming to the story and I'm not sure what ya'll will think about it and you might even hate me, but trust me all comes out well and I just hope you bare with me and stick with me through it and Brucas will be fine eventually. Just remember not everything is a happy ever after.**

**So here is chapter 3… tell me what you guys think at the end.**

**LPOV**

Sitting here watching as the girl of my dreams… the girl I am so completely and utterly in love with sleep beside me. She looked so peaceful considering what she was going through… considering the change her life has taken… our life had taken… I don't really see any of this as my reality it all seems, but a dream to me. I stroke her hair back thinking about how all this would be different if I hadn't done what I did and hurt her. Would we both be excited about it when we found out… would she still have been scared… no I don't think she would have, but then again we are both very young and at 18 no girl wants to be pregnant and be at school too.

If I'm honest when Brooke first told me she was pregnant I didn't expect my reaction to be what it had been… I didn't think I'd literally call her a slut, but I think I panicked and that wasn't cool. I knew the baby was mine… we were always together expect from when we she went away to go visit her Aunt and Uncle in California. I also think I was just scared for her and scared for me and about when everyone would find out and what people would say… what my mum would say, but once I got use to the fact I was going to be a dad I think everything else fitted into place and all I knew is that I had to get Brooke back and not because she is pregnant with my baby, but because I miss the real her… I miss my Brooke… I miss the way she was round me and I miss her laugh and her real smile… I just miss her in general.

I wasn't going to be the type of dad that would bail on his kid or make false promises. I wasn't going to be like my suppose father… I was going to care and I was going to make sure I was always there… I didn't want to miss anything and that's why any appointment she has I will be there with her… every craving… morning sickness she might have… anything I will be there because I love Brooke and I will love this baby just as much and that will never change… so I guess some guys my age would run for the hills, but me I'm staying for the long run.

-xx-

Last night tired me out proper. The crying and Lucas telling me he was going to be there for me and the baby. It just tired me out completely, but here I am yet again walking round school with a massive fake smile plastered on my face acting like no one knows about me being pregnant when they do everyone knows. Just last period I had Maxine from gym congratulate me and then Charlotte Hornsby hug me telling me if I need anything to give her a call. Yeah right because that was gonna happen. I stand at my locker looking round at everyone giving me smiles and congratulating me like they are all not judging me for getting knocked up at 18. I know that they are all secretly laughing at me behind my back, I'm not stupid. I've seen Teen Mom and the kids at those schools weren't as comforting and warming as the kids at my school and that's how I know all the smiles and congratulations they all give me are fake, but it's better than getting the disgusted looks I suppose.

"You okay?" I turn to see my ex bestfriend leaning against the locker by mine. Yesterday's argument not really fazing me right now.

"I've been better" I reply with a shrug "I've got some things going on as you properly already know the whole school does"

"Yeah Lucas told me" Peyton nods "About you being pregnant right?"

"I thought you two weren't together" I question shutting my locker.

"Oh… No… Brooke… We aren't" Peyton rushes to say "He just told me in case you need a friend"

"You're not my friend Peyton" I give a dry laugh "It doesn't really matter anyway" I shake my head walking pass her.

-xx-

Sitting in my English class I look at the clock and see I'm 5 minutes early… that's a first for me, but that's because I want to avoid all the smiles for a while and just sit in quiet. I know Tree Hill is a small town, but news just travels way too fast and I'm just glad my parents aren't here to see all this. I don't know what they would say, but I don't think they would be proud… they were too proud of their reputations, so me being pregnant would put a damper on that.

I hear the bell ring and students walking into the classroom. I put my head down and grab my bag pulling out my note book and pen. Lucas walks in and gives me a small smile which for some reason I return. He sits down beside me and watches me for a couple pf seconds. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't look at him. I just keep looking at the white board at the front of the classroom hoping Mr Lawrence would hurry up. And just as I was thinking that Mr Lawrence came walking into the class with a bunch of papers in his hands plonking them on the desk then writing our assignments on the board.

"Okay good morning class" He turns to us and plasters a smile on his face "You assignment I am going to assign you guys today is due in 2 weeks… so it isn't a fast one. You can think about it and then do them and I'm looking forward to reading them" He tells us. I give out a sigh once I read it on the board "Okay so the assignment is to pick any scenario you want, it could have happened to you or it can be from a television show it's up to you, but I want you to pick one and place yourself in the middle and write about how it makes you feel and what you would do differently if it's about you or how you would change it if it's a television show"

This one should be easy. Everyone knows I'm pregnant. So maybe I'll write that one or maybe I'll just write about a show and try to find a scenario that is completely different. I don't know yet. I turn and look a Lucas hard at thinking what he was going to write about and then I look around the classroom and everyone was just thinking and it made me laugh… all these people are so simple and careless whereas I can't be like that anymore… I have a baby to think about. I snapped out my thoughts when I heard Mr Lawrence talk again.

"Okay so now you guys know the assignment… here are the assignments you gave in last week. They were very good, better than the others you all gave in. these were more thought through" He started to hand out the papers. He walked to my desk and placed my paper in front of me which I smiled at… another big fat A "God job again Miss Davis, this literally had me drawn to read. I just couldn't stop until I finished it. Lately you have been kicking butt at these assignments. Well done Brooke" I smile up at him and then look back down at my paper. I had written about my baby and about getting rid of it, but now I think about it I'm glad I didn't.

The rest of the class we were all given essay papers that we had to complete. Mr Lawrence was right I have been getting better in this class and I guess that was just me bucking down and finally understanding that I have to pass all my classes to graduate. I had to do the best for my kid and if that means getting a good education then I'll do it.

The bell was heard throughout the classroom signalling lesson was over. I packed up my things putting my essay into my bag and standing up. I walk out the classroom and too my locker.

"Brooke" I turn around and see Lucas running towards me "This is for you" He handed me his assignment he had just gotten back from our teacher. It had an A at the top just like mine "I want you to read it"

"Why?" I ask taking it from him and reading the header 'The moment I lost the girl I love' He wrote it about losing me. That was something life changing for him "Lucas…"

"No" He stops me "I want you to read it… then maybe you'll understand how much you mean to me and how sorry I am… please just read it Brooke"

"Okay" I nod "I'll read it Luke"

He gives a smile and kisses my cheek. Shocking me for a moment, but his touch always gave me shivers "Thank you" He whispers to me and the walks off pass me and out the double doors.

-xx-

School had finished about 3 hours ago and instead of going home I ended up at the river court… the only place I can think and let my thoughts run wild. God how I miss the time being here with everyone and just hanging and things not being so messed up as they are now. I've seen everyone laughing and joking still when I drive past sometimes, but instead of coming to join them I just go home, not wanting to be in the same place as Lucas and Peyton without wanting to claw her eyes out and punch him in the face.

So here I am sitting on the picnic table picking at a piece of grass I picked earlier just thinking about how I'm going to do everything on my own. Yeah Lucas said he'll help me and god I believe him, I really do and I know I shouldn't just in case he hurts me again, but I really can't help it. I just want what we use to have back so badly. I've never loved anyone as much as I still love Lucas.

"It's late you being here don't you think?" I turn around to see Nathan walking up behind me.

"That coming from you who comes out here when you fight with your dad" I reply as he sits down beside me.

"Yeah fair do's" He nods "Congratulations Brooke"

"Well now that 'congratulations' I actually believe" I turn to him with a smile "Thanks"

"You welcome" He replies and we both look out to the river. Silence falling over us for a moment until he breaks it "His sorry Brooke" I look at him "He really is sorry"

"Yeah I know he is Nate, but it still hurts" I tell him "It still hurts so bad"

"You love him still Brooke, I can see it and so can everyone else" He states and I nod because I do still love Lucas. I love him so much it hurts being without him "Can you forgive him?"

"Honestly Nate I don't know" I shrug "I mean I'm pregnant with his baby and all I want is him and me like we use to be, but how do I trust him again" I say tired of all this mess and the fighting "And then you have Peyton who I thought would never in a billion years do something like this to me and she did, so what do I do there?"

"All I know Brooke is that my brother has love for you that I've never seen before. He loves you with everything he has and I know he screwed up and trust him he knows how bad he did, but everyone deserves second chances Brooke" Nathan informs me.

"When did Nathan Scott the jackass of Tree Hill High become less of a jackass and so smart and caring?" I wink at him.

"Properly the moment Haley James came into my life" He responds making me smile.

"Now that relationship is a fairy tale" I tell him before standing up and walking away neither of us saying anything else.

-xx-

I walk into my room to see Lucas standing by my bathroom door. I hated how he felt he could just pop in whenever he wants without calling first, so okay maybe if he called I wouldn't answer, but that isn't the point right now. I had to just remember to lock the front door from now on. I didn't look at him as I walk further in, I could just feel his presence.

"You changed it?" He says looking at my picture wall by the window "You changed all of it"

"Yeah well I wasn't going to look at the pictures of us or the three of us all the time while they were stuck to my wall considering I couldn't even look at the two if you at school" I reply "Besides it hurt looking at those pictures when we were all so happy"

"I loved this wall" He states "Now it's half empty"

"Yeah that's because there were a lot of pictures of all of us" I answer with a shrug.

"Brooke…"

"You promised you'd never hurt me. Remember that?" I say as I walk pass him and stop in front of the wall he was talking about "I mean it was hard for me to fall for you, but yet I did it anyway and this is what I get... I get hurt... I get screwed over"

"Brooke…" I hear him sigh "I messed up. I messed up real bad"

"That you did Luke" I turn to face him "That you did, well not just you" He snaps his head to look at me "We both screwed up Luke"

"How did you screw up" He looked scared to ask that question like I was gonna reveal I cheated on him too, but I didn't. I would have never done that to him. I love him too much to ever think about doing something like that, but he obviously doesn't love me as much as he kept saying he did otherwise he would have never cheated on me with my bestfriend of all people. I turn my eyes to look at him and step forward so I was real close to him.

"Because I'm now pregnant by the guy who tore my heart from my chest" I whisper to him loud enough for him to hear me making sure I didn't cry which I didn't and was so proud, but then again I may think I'm all out of tears now since I've been crying a lot because of him.

"I'm sorry" He whispers stepping away from me and sitting on my bed.

"Yeah" I shake my head walking pass him "Me too" I head down the stairs and to the kitchen.

"Brooke…" I hear him call after me, but I carried on until I got to the kitchen and he followed me standing in the door way "We ever gonna get pass this?" He asks sadness in his voice.

"I don't know Luke, but right now I actually don't care" I spin towards him leaning against the island "I now have a baby to care for Luke, so as for you and your feelings. I just don't care"

"We have a baby to care for" He corrected looking all sad and Broody "I meant it when I said I'll be there for you and our baby Brooke"

I give a bitter laugh "Yeah just like you meant it when you kept telling me you loved me and when you promised not to hurt me, but don't worry Luke I won't believe you this time. I'll do this myself just like how I've been bringing up my self since I was 9" I obviously didn't want to bring the baby up by myself, but I also wanted him to fight for me to prove he does indeed love me still. I wanted him to apologise until he is blue in the face and I definitely want him to tell me that he regrets ever looking at Peyton and sleeping with her and lastly I want him to know how badly I hurt, so if I can hurt him just as bad then I'll take it. He deserves to feel hurt just for those few minutes. He deserves a hell of a lot of hurt, but I still love him and that is the only thing stopping me from hurting him as much as he hurt me.

"Brooke... baby" He walks towards me as I shake my head, but he doesn't stop he grabs me round my waist and pulls me into him "Baby I'm sorry, I didn't mean for all this to happen" I push against him hating that's the tears started to fall down my cheeks. Cursing to myself that I'm letting my emotions get the best of me yet again. But that's properly down to my hormones "I'm sorry Pretty Girl" I fail to push against him and just fall into his body. Loving how he holds me again. I missed him so much "I'm sorry that I hurt you and I will keep saying sorry until I'm blue in the face and you believe me" He says stroking my hair. Him knowing that soothes me "I'm sorry that I hurt you so bad and every time I look at you I can see the hurt and I'm mostly sorry that I hurt the girl I love so damn much" I look up at him and a tear falls down his cheek and mine too. I've never seen him cry before. Never has he shown this much emotion and that's when I knew that he is indeed very much sorry "I'll fight for you Brooke" He says and I give a small smile "I'll fight for you until you forgive me and become mine again. I'll fight my entire life because I miss you Pretty Girl. I miss you so damn much" I don't want to give in to him this quick even if I do miss him just as much and I need him as much as I hate to admit it I love him more than anything.

"I miss you too Luke, but you hurt me. I haven't felt this much hurt since my parents died" I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he just grabs me again holding me tighter "Luke please let me go" but he didn't. He held onto me with sad eyes. With his broody face that he knows I can't say no too "Luke please" I plead even though I love the feeling of him holding me like he is now, I'm still so mad at him "Lucas"

"Not until you understand how sorry I am" Lucas finally speaks turning me to face him holding my face up by my chin with his fingers. His touch sends shivers down my spine "Tell me you don't love me anymore baby" He says and I just look at him. He knows the affect he has on me "Tell me you want me to leave and never come back" He carried on when I don't say anything "Tell me you don't miss me" But I couldn't. I can't say any of that because then I'd be lying to him and to myself "Because then I'll leave and not come back"

"Why did you come here?" I change the subject as I finally get free jumping up on the counter swinging my legs like a 5 year old girl "I mean it's not like where together anymore" And I see his face drop when I mention us not being a couple.

"I wanted to see you" He simply says walking closer to me getting between my legs. I loved when he did this all the time because what came next was either more amazing. He kissed me. It was a sweet and gentle kiss. A kiss we used to share all the time. My heart melted when I thought back to our first date and all the little things I use to love that he did for me, like the little notes he left for me or the little chocolate treats he'd leave on my bed every morning when he stayed with me, but then the shield came back up as I pushed him away bringing my hands up to my lips.

"You can't just kiss me and magically think that everything will be okay Luke" I snap at him. Yeah okay so maybe that kiss was amazingly awesome, but it doesn't stop the fact that he hurt me more than anyone ever could and that doesn't just go away and then there's the trust he broke. Trust is hard to build and when he finished building it with me he broke it down like it was nothing and that hurts most of all that I fell in love with him because he made me feel special, but here I am feeling like shit and not good enough for him all because he went to my bestfriend for something he gets from me obviously hence the baby growing inside me "Kisses may mean everything Luke, but you can't go round just doing it" I jump down from the island and head over to fridge "I'm tired Luke can you leave now"

"I told my Mom" He blurts out changing the subject and my heart jumps.

"W-What did she erm… what'd she say?" I question a little scared of his answer.

"She wasn't happy, but she's supportive" He replies with a small smile.

"She hates me doesn't she?" I throw my hands up in the air letting out a big sigh. I always did respect Karen. I looked at her as my second Mom because she always acted like it ever since Lucas and I started dating. I have missed her a lot not being over the house much lately or not going to the cafe "I mean I'd hate me too if I found out my son's ex-girlfriend was pregnant at 18"

"She doesn't hate you Pretty Girl" He assures me walking closer moving a piece of hair from my face "She loves you Brooke"

"I miss her" I whisper.

"She misses you too" He tells me "I really am sorry Brooke" He wraps his arms around me and I begin to feel the warmth again. I begin to feel the security I felt when we were together.

"I know you are Broody" I sigh taking a deep breath "I know you are"

**Well I hope you liked that chapter. I tried my best with that Lucas Point of view at the beginning. Since I already had this chapter written I got a review asking for a LPOV and I had to try and fit it in somewhere so I thought at the beginning would be perfect… I don't know if that is the POV you were talking about, but I tried my best and I hope you liked it. Just let me know what you guys thought by hitting the REVIEW button below.**

**Love you all loads and hope you have an awesome rest of the week and don't forget you can private message me anytime if you wish.**

**Roch xoxo**


	4. Morning Sickness Sucks

**Heeey there again my beautiful readers and followers… Here is the next chapter and I hope you like it just as much as I loved writing it. I'm defiantly going to stick with this story as I have more followers then I thought I'd ever get with this story and I appreciate it a lot. **

**I'm glad you liked the Lucas POV at the beginning I wasn't sure if it'd go down with a hit, but I guess it did and I'm so happy I got good feedback on it. **

**SO in this chapter I have a slight twist relating to Peyton and I'm not sure if ya'll will like it, but I promise it had a reason of happening and that will come in later in the story, but I hope you all don't hate me for it or for what is about to come in the next chapter or so… I'm not gong give any spoilers I'm just gonna say to please keep following me with this story and I'll assure you that like all my stories it will end with a happy ending.**

**Anyway I'll let you get reading…**

I shot up in my bed and ran into my bathroom falling to my knees and hugging the toilet as I start to bring up my dinner from last night. God this morning sickness is kicking my butt. My mouth tasted disgusting and sure as hell didn't taste like last night's dinner. After I finish being sick I wipe my mouth with my flannel and rinse out my mouth with some cold water before using warm water and splashing my face then doing my tooth brush. I hated this morning sickness and I wish it'd stop. It had been a week since Lucas just randomly turned up at my house and we had that sort of talk in the kitchen. Everything seemed to start fitting into place itself.

"Brooke" I hear my name being called from outside the bathroom "Pretty Girl" it was of course Lucas. Ever since the talk in the kitchen a week ago he has come by everyday checking on me and making sure everything was okay "Brooke" He says my name again when he doesn't get an answer the first time.

"Hmm" I slowly open the bathroom door crawling out of there and over to my bed getting under the covers.

"Brooke..." He sits on my bed and looks at me "You okay?"

I nod slowly feeling drained from all the sickness every morning, day and night. God I really don't know why they call it morning sickness if it last all fricking day "Yeah I'm fine"

"You don't look fine" He states the obvious "You want me to stay with you?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Nah its fine Luke" I tell him "Honestly, I'm fi…" I run out of my bed and back into the bathroom shutting the door falling to my knees again and spilling out my guts. I honestly don't think I have anything else to throw up. I flush the chain after I'm done and crawl back out the bathroom "See I'm just fine" I give a weak smile.

"Morning sickness huh?" He questions and I nod

"More like all day and night sickness" I joke with a small hint of a laugh.

"How about I make you something light to eat?"

"Nah its fine Luke" I tell him "I'm gonna go to the café soon to go see Haley. I'll grab something there" It was Saturday morning, so what did I have to do… nothing so going to meet Haley was my best option.

"You sure Pretty Girl?"

I nod "Yeah I'm sure, but thanks anyway"

"Anything for you" I give another small smile "Well anyway I'm going to run some errands for My Mom as she's looking after a poorly Lilly, but I'll ring you later to check you're okay"

"Luke… you seriously don't need to do th…" I go to say, but he cuts me off.

"I'm calling later Pretty Girl end of conversation" He stands up and gives me a kiss on the forehead then walks to my bedroom door "Catch ya later princess"

-xx-

So I don't know what is going on between Lucas and me yet. It's been a week and everything seems to be going just fine. Peyton and I haven't seen each other lately not even at school, but that can wait for another time. After finally having the strength I got dressed into a pink tank top with my blank cardigan and my sweat pants with my black pumps brushing my teeth for about the sixth time this morning before I head to Karen's café. I walk into the café the bell above the door chiming seeing Haley standing behind the counter with a wash cloth in her hand.

"Brooke" She smiles at me "How are you?"

"I'm good thank you" I tell her sitting on a stool "Been better though"

"Oh why what's up?" She asks sounded worried as she wipes down the counter and cash register "Everything okay with the baby?"

"Yeah" I nod with a small smile "This morning sickness is kicking my ass though" I tell her giving a small laugh "I don't know why they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day and all fricking night"

"Yeah most pregnant girls say the same thing" Haley laughed "It stops soon though I think"

"God I hope so" I run my hand through my hair "I don't think I could handle this for the next 6 months"

"Oh Brookie…"

I hold up my finger to her covering my mouth with my other hand "Sorry Hales, I'll be back in a sec" I say jumping off the stool and running to the bathroom. Gosh how I hate this whole morning sickness.

"Hey Hales" I hear Peyton's voice as I walk back from the bathroom. I stop for a minute and then carry on walking "Brooke" she says when she sees me walking over.

"Peyton" I nod and sit back on the stool I was sat at. First time seeing her in like a week or so.

"Want something to eat Brooke" Haley asks "Lucas told me to make sure you eat something" I give her a look raising my eyes brow "Whaaat? He called this morning"

I give a long sigh. Lucas being Lucas. Worrying all too much about me "Oh I bet he did" I shake my head looking up at the menu above Haley's head "He came by this morning to check on me and I was being sick, so he said his gonna ring me to make sure I'm not dead" I shake my head. Typical Lucas.

"Aww his just worrying about you" Haley tells me and I nod because I know his trying to show how sorry he is and how much he does indeed love me and that is why I'm trying not to flip out on him and try to hold back my hormones.

"Yeah I know Hales" I give a smile "Anyway I'll have a house special with extra fries and some onion rings" I tell her "Ooooo and strawberry milkshake" Haley kinks her eye brow up at me "What I have a big appetite which ends up in the toilet afterwards anyway which means I won't put on any baby weight" I joke which Haley laughs at "Oh and bubba is hungry" Haley nods and puts my order in to the cook behind her.

"So you and Lucas?" Haley turns back to me. Peyton just looking at us.

"Me and Lucas nothing Hales" I say with a shrug "We're being civil because of the baby, that's it"

"So you don't feel anything for him?" She questions "I mean at all… nothing"

"Haleeeeyyyy" I whine as she places my food in front of me after about 10 minutes "Stop prying"

"I'm not" She protests holding up to hands "Just curious"

"He apologises and I know his sorry, but that doesn't stop the fact he still slept with her" I nod towards Peyton who shifts under the statement I just made "Once I get pass that, if I get pass that then maybe Lucas and I will be Brucas once again, but for now there is no Brucas; just Lucas and Brooke"

"Okay" Haley sits my strawberry milkshake down by my plate "So got any names picked out yet?"

"Lucas and I haven't talked about that yet. We're just excited for the scan tomorrow" I answer taking a free fry and dipping into the barbeque sauce Haley passed me "But I've always loved the name Aria for a girl" I tell her "But who knows what I'm having"

"Yeah" Haley nods

I just about finish my breakfast when my phone started to buzz. I grabbed it out of my pocket and answered not looking at caller ID "Hello"

"_**Hey Pretty Girl just me"**_ I hear Lucas say.

"Oh hey Luke" I take a sip of my milkshake "What's up?"

"_**Just making sure you're okay after this morning I've been worried about you"**_ Lucas informs me.

"Oh I'm fine Broody" I tell him "Just at your mom's café with Hales and Peyton"

"_**Oh you and Peyton talking now?"**_ He questions just sitting in his car.

"Well not really" I look over at Peyton "She hasn't said much"

"_**Oh"**_ Was his response _**"Anyway have you eaten and I don't mean a slice of toast Brooke. I mean a proper breakfast?"**_

"Yes" I roll my eyes at him "Just finished actually"

"_**Okay good"**_ I can literally hear a smile appear on his face _**"Well I'll come by and make you some dinner later if you like"**_

"Yeah sure" I smile at that "I'll see you later then Broody"

"_**Okay"**_ I hear him start his car _**"I'll see you later Pretty Girl"**_

Then I heard the dial tone and put my phone in my pocket again "Lucas?" Haley asks with a small smile.

I nod "Yeah his checking in on me again" I shrug "He does it all the time"

"His worried for you"

"I'm pregnant Hals, not dying"

"Yeah well the morning sickness is kicking your ass remember" Haley raised her eye brow.

"I guess" I huff sipping at my milkshake.

"So Brooke erm… How's the pregnancy going?" Peyton actually speaks making me jerk my head to her.

"Well other than the morning sickness everything is good" I reply glad to be talking to Peyton again after everything. If I was being honest I have missed my bestfriend. I've missed her a lot.

"Well I'm glad B. Davis" She smiles at me "Look Brooke about everything that has happened. I'm sorry. I know I screwed up and I know that everything is messed up because of what I did and I'm just so sorry for it all"

"Yeah I know Peyt" I nod giving her a small smile "I know your sorry and I know Lucas is sorry and it has taken me some time and I know it will never fully go away… it will always be there, but I'm willing to try and get pass it and I'm trying to forgive you both. I just need more time"

"I can understand that" She nods "I just want my friend back"

"Yeah I know Peyt" I nod "I want my friend back too. I miss her"

"I miss you too"

"Anyway I better be off. I'm going shopping" I tell them both jumping down from the stool "Bye girls"

"Bye" both Haley and Peyton say at the same time.

I give them both a smile. Not really in the fighting mood anymore. Just gonna let it go. I no longer have the energy to fight with Peyton all the time.

-xx-

"Brooookeeee" I hear my name being called from behind me "Brooookeeee" Came the voice again. I turn around and see Karla my old friend from middle school. She moved just before I started high school "OMG Brooke you look amazing"

"Thanks, so do you Kar" I reply bringing her into a hug "How you been?"

"I've been good girl" She says as she pulls away "You?"

"Oh I've been better, but I'm getting there" I answer taking a can of tuna and placing it in my shopping cart.

"Oh right congratulations babe" She beams another huge smile at me "On the baby I mean"

"How'd you know I was pregnant" I question turning my full body to her.

"It's a small town Brooke… people talk" she replies and I nod knowing that was the truth. I go to say something else when we hear a small voice coming from behind Karla.

"Mama can I have sweet please?" I turn my head to see a little girl with big brown eyes, long dark black hair staring up at us.

"Only if you're a good girl" Karla replies.

"I will Mama, I'll be the bestest" She looked so much like Karla and she was very polite for being so little.

"Okay then we'll pick a sweet in a minute baby girl" Karla picked up the little girl and turned to me again "She's three" She says like she knew what I'm thinking "And as you heard she's mine also"

"She's gorgeous Kar" I smile at the little girl "What's your name beautiful?" I ask the little girl, her big brown eyes lock onto mine.

"Me Erica" She responded

"Well that's a lovely name Erica, I'm Brooke"

"Me like that name" She gives a goofy smile making me smile even more.

"Well as nice as this was we have to get going Brooke" Karla cuts in "My boyfriend is coming to pick us up in a bit"

"Oh well okay" I smile "It was nice seeing you again Karla"

"Yeah you too Brooke"

"And you too Erica" I smile at the little girl and she gives a goofy grin back "Bye"

"Bye Brooke" Karla says walking pass me and down the aisle.

-xx-

I sat on the counter in the kitchen at my house watching as Lucas strode around cooking dinner and god did it smell gorgeous. I started to swing my legs humming to a song I heard on the radio in my car this afternoon. The tune just stuck with me the rest of the day. I sip at my cold lemonade. I've had no sickness since after I ate at Karen's this morning. Oh maybe Karen's food is a cure. Oh I like the sound of that since her food was just so good.

"I like Aria for a girl" I randomly say as he turns to face me putting the lid back on the pot.

"Aria?" He questions looking confused at what I was on about.

"Yeah Aria, I've liked the name ever since I watched the first episode of pretty little liars" I tell him seeing a smile creep on his face "What's so funny?"

"I remember the first time you made me watch that with you" He tells me and I smile remembering that too.

"_**Lucas come sit" I motion for him to come sit with me on the couch. One of my favourite programmes was about to come on.**_

"_**What we watching?" He asks walking towards me with two cans of soda in his hands.**_

"_**Pretty Little Liars is coming"**_

"_**Annnnnd that's my cue to leave" He says putting my diet cola down in front of me then going to walk out the living room and towards the front door.**_

"_**Luuuukeee" I whine getting up and rushing to him so he couldn't leave. I stand in front of him with my bottom lip poking out "Come watch with me" I pout pulling on his shirt poking my bottom lip out further "Pretty please and plus it's late out"**_

"_**Broooooke… I'm a guy" He says making me laugh "I'm not meant to watch things like that"**_

"_**Yeah, but don't you love me?" I walk slowly towards him "I mean you don't want me to be all alone in this big house do you?" I nibble at his ear lobe knowing what that does to him "I mean my brother moved out and my sister is gone too"**_

"_**Baby" He grasps and I smile.**_

"_**Hmm?" I lean up to his ear again "I'll make it worth your while" I whisper seductively in his ear seeing him swallow hard.**_

"_**Oookay" He grasps again dragging out the word.**_

_**I grab him by the hand and pull him towards the living room "Awesome" Lucas sits down and I plonk myself down beside him laying my legs over his as Pretty Little Liars makes an appearance on the TV.**_

"Oh you loved watching it" I joke "Admit it" Surprisingly it feels like everything is back to normal. I feel like us again.

"Nooooo" He shakes his head "What I loved is what happened once it finished" Lucas makes his way over to me. Positioning himself between my legs running circles around my inner thigh "It was sooo worth the watch"

"Oh I bet it was" I tell him shaking my head with a laugh.

"So anyway Pretty Girl how are you?" He asks

"I'm fine" I shrug "I'm gonna make nice with Peyton. Like officially" I tell him wanting my bestfriend back, but knowing it could and never be like it once was.

"You are?" He questions looking up at me and I give a nod "Why baby?"

"Because I'm pregnant Luke" I say like it's the obvious reason when it really isn't "I'm just tired of fighting with people and I'm tired of fighting with Peyton. She once was my bestfriend and then we let you get between us and now look at us all we don't even like being in the same room" I tell him "Naley are happy and in love. Whatever this is between us I'm finally at peace with it now and Peyton isn't happy and that's because she misses me and I know that and I just want everyone to be happy Luke"

"Yeah I know princess" He nods with a smile "And I am sorry about you and Peyton and I know it's my fault"

"Not all of it Luke" I voice to him "She could have said no"

"Yeah I know that" He looks away from me.

"So I have my appointment tomorrow" I say as Lucas goes back to cooking "It's after school"

"What time?" He asks stirring the pot.

"5:30"

"I'll be there" He turns round and smiles "Dinner will be ready in 5"

"Okay Master Chef" I laugh and jump down from the counter "I'm going to change"

"Okay Pretty Girl"

I walk up the stairs and to my room getting my Minnie Mouse pyjamas out of my drawer and starting to changing thinking about how my body will start to slowly change. I have a baby inside of me growing and I love it already… is that crazy? I hear my phone buzz on the night stand and go to answer it.

"Hello"

"_**Brooke"**_ I hear Peyton's voice _**"Brooke"**_

"Yeah I'm here" I answer "Peyton what's wrong?"

"_**I'm scared"**_ She whispers, but loud enough for me to hear her _**"And I'm sorry"**_

"Peyton where are you?"

"_**I'm at home" **_She whispers_** "Broooke I'm sooo scared your gonna hate me"**_

"Peyton what's the matter… I'm starting to get worried now" I tell her sitting on my bed.

"_**I'm stupid"**_ She hits the palm of her hand to her head with a sigh _**"I shouldn't have done it. I should have told you today at the café, but I couldn't"**_

"Done what sweetie? Should have told me what at the café? Peyton you're scaring me" I cross my legs on my bed waiting for her answer. I know we aren't friends fully right this moment, but I also know that I still care for her so much.

"_**I'm sorry I slept with Lucas"**_ I hear her sob _**"I really am Brooke. Doing that has made me lose you and I want you back so much"**_

"Yeah I know Peyt" I sit on my bed "I know you are and I know you do"

"_**Brooke I'm really scared"**_ She says again. I was getting all confused once more "I'm really scared your gonna hate me even more than you already do"

"Peyton sweetie what you talking about?" I hear her let out a sigh again "I don't hate you"

"_**Your gonna hate me after this"**_

"Peyton please tell me what's going on"

"_**Brooke I'm pregnant"**_ My throat tightens and I don't know what to say to that. Was she telling me that she is pregnant with My Lucas's baby, but he isn't mine anymore. Not like he used to be _**"Brooke I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry… please don't hate me"**_

"Lucas is the father right?" I question tears forming in my eyes. Was she about to tell me that I had to share Lucas with her for the rest of our lives "Is that why your scared?" I mutter to her harshly.

"_**No Brooke Lucas isn't the father"**_ I felt relief but yet scared again. Who could possibly be the father for me to hate her?

"Then why are you apologising " I question. Who could the father be?

"_**Brandon… Brooke"**_ She answers the questions I was thinking like she was in my head or something. My heart sinks and I don't know what to say _**"I'm sorry"**_

"How?" I ask then regret that question. I already know how "Actually don't answer that I know how, but I mean he isn't even in Tree Hill anymore. His away for college"

"_**Yeah I know, but once the whole thing with us happened all those months ago and then I wanted to hurt you even more because I thought you already hate me so what did I have to lose"**_ She starts to say and I hear her out. Tears caught in my throat. She wanted to hurt me even more so she goes and sleeps with my brother _**"So I go out of town for a weekend and bump into him two towns over, he was at a friend's birthday party and invited me to come hang with them for the rest of the night and I agreed. He didn't know what happened between us and what I did to you or that we were fighting… So I figured why not a little fun and hang with him and his friends for the night, then that night we both got really drunk and it just happened. I woke up the next morning and I felt really bad because I betrayed your trust once again and I left then he rang me and wanted to meet to talk about it so we did and now I'm pregnant"**_

"You slept with my brother?" It just wasn't registering with me "And now you're pregnant" I couldn't believe this. First Lucas and now my brother.

"_**I didn't mean for this to happen Brooke"**_

"Just like you didn't mean to sleep with Lucas!" I bark at her "Who else are you going to sleep with that are mine huh?"

"_**It's not like that Brooke"**_ She tells me and I just laugh _**"I like him a lot"**_

"Riiight?" I nod even though she can't see me "After a night or two you like him"

"_**Brooke…"**_ She goes to speak when I cut her off.

"It's more than that isn't it Sawyer?" I questions standing up from my bed and pacing around my room "How long?"

"_**A few weeks or so"**_ She mutters and my eyes go wide.

"So you've known where's his been all this time?"

"_**His back in Tree Hill Brooke"**_ She tells me and my heart drops. He hasn't answered his phone to me ever since he left 4 years ago, but now his back in tree hill and Peyton is the one telling me _**"And his on his way to you" **_at that moment I heard the doorbell go.

"I have to go" I hang up before she can say anything else. Rushing out of the room and down the stairs. Lucas had already opened the door and there stood my one and only brother Brandon "You got her pregnant… out of all people her Brandon"

"Brooke wait… let me explain" He pleads holding up both hands.

"There's nothing to explain" I shake my head at him "She's already told me Brandon. Looks like she beat you to it"

"Brooke..." He starts to say again, but I cut him off.

"Four years Brandon… Four years and not one word. No letter, email, text, phone call or even a damn post card and you were only two towns over" My body felt drained. God why did people have the need to always hurt me and lie to me. I must have done some shitty things in my past life to deserve all this "You left me for college and I was here all by myself and then you come back to tree hill not for me, but because you got her pregnant"

"It wasn't meant to happen Brooke" He goes to step towards me, but I step back "It was a drunken mistake at first, but then I started to like her. I'm sorry"

"Brandon Davis doesn't do relationships remember" I mutter a tear rolled down my face.

"I grew up B" He shrugs

"No…" I shake my head with a little small laugh "No you didn't because you party all the time and this is how that happened" I tell him shaking my head even more "I called you all the time" I tell him seeing him look at me "I called you because I needed my big brother. The big brother who told me he'd always protect me no matter what. The big brother who promised never to forget me when he left. My big brother I need and you didn't answer your phone any time I called and I needed you the most and you wasn't there Brandon and then she tells you she's pregnant and now you're back in Tree Hill. You come running when she calls, but when I call I get your damn answer phone call the time"

"Brooke I'm sorry"

"Yeah so am I" I then shut the door and walked away "Come on Luke I'm starving" I grab Luke by the hand and walk into the kitchen just leaving my big brother to do whatever he likes.

**So I hope you liked this chapter. I loved writing it and I don't know what you think about Peyton being pregnant by Brookes brother, but I promise it has a purpose that everyone of your Brucas fans might not like, but this story had to go one way and I already decided what way I was taking it so please just bare with me and follow me on this journey and I promise to update as quickly and frequently as I possibly can.**

**So do me a huge favour and hit the REVIEW button below and let me know what you guys think… Thanks… Much Love Always Roch xoxo**


	5. The Only Place I Feel Safe Is With Him!

**Hello again… so I wrote this when I was rather drunk last night and now I have read it I actually think it's pretty good. So as you all read the last chapter Peyton is indeed pregnant… Anyways I hope you like this next chapter and remember let me know what you think by hitting the review button below.**

**Oh and I want to thank everyone who is following this story and reading it. I also want to thank **akinka, dianehermans and jenii A f**or reviewing and letting me know what you think. Please stick with me and keep reviewing!**

The next morning I wake up to find Lucas beside me, but we aren't naked so we didn't sleep together. That's a good thing since I have no idea what we are at the moment. I pull back the covers and climb out of bed going for a shower. Once I was done I start to get ready for school seeing Lucas still lying in bed made me laugh so I jump on the bed then jump on him. I was already wide away so it was just him "Luke" I straddle his waist "Lucas Eugene Scott you get up now"

"But I'm sleepy" He whines making me laugh.

"Now" I warn him "Before I wet you with cold water" I threaten seeing him open one eye frowning at me.

"You wouldn't" He mutters testing me.

"Oh but I would" I raise my eye brow and he knew I was being serious "Wanna try me?"

"Okay I'm up" He sits up as I climb off the bed "I best go home and get ready"

"Yeah you should" I say walking to my closet and grabbing a pair of jeans trying to put them on "I still fit into my clothes" I beam at him showing my dimples "But I'll get fat soon"

"You won't get fat Brooke" He stands up behind me "Your just pregnant"

"Yeah I know and along with being pregnant means I'm gonna eat too much and get fat then once I've had the baby I'll have all this weight to lose" I tell him a frown forming on my face.

"You'll still be beautiful" He kisses my cheek "Now I'm leaving. See you at school Pretty Girl. Bye"

-xx-

Standing at my locker I see Peyton walk up beside me to her locker. I use to love having my locker besides her, but I'm not so sure now. I put my combination in and here the click opening my locker "Brooke" She says, but I say nothing "Please Brooke talk to me"

"I was ready to be your friend again Peyton" I tell her turning to face her "I was ready to forget everything and be friends. I was tired of this fighting because I'm pregnant and don't want the stress, but then you ring me and tell me your pregnant with my brothers baby… yeah that friendship of ours is totally dead and buried now" I tell her.

"This wasn't how it was meant to be" She says and I just put my book in my locker taking out my history one "We were going to tell you about us first and then if you didn't like the idea then we weren't going to do it, but then I found out I was pregnant and everything changed"

"It's your life Peyton do what you like" I slam my locker shut "And Brandon his a big boy. It's not my problem"

"Brooke… wait" Peyton called after me "Come on Brooke please"

But I just carried on walking. The best thing would be to just avoid them both for the next 6 months.

-xx-

"If you keep frowning that pretty head of yours will get all wrinkled" I hear a voice say from behind me which belonged to Lucas.

"Yeah well getting told I'm going to be an Aunt to my former bestfriends baby wasn't what I expected" I reply not looking up from when he appeared "She never did like me having something she didn't and now she's pregnant just like me. God how screwed up is that!"

"Brooke you really shouldn't stress" Lucas says sitting down beside me "It's not good for the baby"

"Yes I know that Lucas" I state "I'm going home I'm not feeling too good" I stand throwing my empty water bottle into the trash can beside me "Tell Mrs Harnet that I'll email her my paper instead. Thanks Luke" I give a small smile before turning around and heading to my car.

-xx-

"So you and Brooke seem different" Lucas looks up to see Haley smiling at him. She plonks herself down opposite him at the lunch table "She doesn't seem like she hates you anymore"

"I wouldn't go that far Hales" Lucas tells her "Brooke might not shout at me or avoid me anymore, but that's because she's pregnant with my baby. She properly still hates me somewhere deep down"

"Nah" Haley shook her head grabbing one of his carrot sticks and bringing it to her mouth taking a bite "Brooke still loves you Luke"

"I really miss her Hales" He gives out a long sigh dropping his head a little "I mean I know we spend most of our time together, but I miss what we use to be. I miss Brucas and I just wish I never screwed that up"

"Oh Luke" Haley sounded so calming "You'll get that Brucas back. Maybe not anytime soon, but I guarantee you and Brooke will become Brucas once again, but even better"

"Haley I hope your right because right now I'm holding onto the fact that she's pregnant and trying to spend as much time as I can with her" Lucas tells his bestfriend" I just hope your right"

-xx-

"Brandon I've screwed up" Peyton says into the phone once lunch time had approached.

"_**Baby calm down… talk to me"**_ Brandon says back.

"She hates me Brandon… she hates me all over again" Peyton sobs "God! I just can't get it right"

"_**Oh baby she'll come around"**_ Brandon tries to assure her _**"I know my sister"**_

"Well obviously you don't because she won't forgive me for this one" Peyton barks at him "You're her damn brother. I should have known better. Lucas was one thing, but her brother. I'm such a bad person"

"_**Okay okay babe calm down. This isn't all that good for the baby. Want me to come pick you up?"**_

"Nah I'll see you after school. I actually have to go. Bye babe"

"**Okay princess. I'll see you later. Bye"** and with that Peyton hung up walking back into the school building.

-xx-

I climb out of my car and head to the front door seeing Brandon's car parked in the garage. Greeeat his actually back. I push my key into the lock and turn it hearing the click of the door opening. I walk into my house shutting the door behind me. I sling my bag on the banister and then hang my jacket up on the hook by the door. I can hear noises coming from the lounge, but instead of going to see what was going on I planned to vacate to my room after getting something to eat.

"Brooke…" Greeeat… the other person I didn't want to see "Your home early"

"This isn't your home Brandon it's mine" I state that fact first to make it clear that he doesn't own it. I do and know that he handed it over to me when he left for college "And I'm home because I don't feel that entire good not that it concerns you anymore" I turn back to the fridge opening it and grabbing out a bottle of water.

"Cookie…" I freeze as I shut the fridge door.

"Don't ever call me that" I snap my head round to look at him "Not ever!" Ever since our parents died I couldn't stand being called Cookie because ever since I was little my dad use to call me it to always ease out of a problem or when he had to give me some bad news. Brandon would know that if he actually kept in contact with me "Now what you doing here?" I ask opening my water and taking a big gulp and then I felt a huge pain go straight through my stomach. I double over in pain which lasted about 2 seconds "Oh fuuuck!"

"Brooke you okay?" Brandon rushes over to me, but I push him away standing straight again.

"Don't touch me" I send him a glare rubbing my hand over my belly "Now why you here?"

"I'm here to stay Brooke" Brandon informs me and I just let out a small laugh then I see he was being serious.

"Oh you're being serious"

"Of course"

"Then go live with Peyton because you're not welcome here" I tell him walking pass him and to the stairs "Oh and tell my former bestfriend she isn't welcome here again"

"Brooke… wait…"

"No…just go Brandon before I have to throw you out myself and don't think I won't" I reply walking into my room and slamming the door behind me.

-xx-

"Brooke… Brooke you here?" Lucas comes running into my room a worried look on his face.

"Yeah I'm here" I say once he stops at my door "You okay Luke?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Brandon said you felt some pain" He says leaning against the wall.

"Yeah for a moment or two, but I'm fine now" I tell him leaning up off my bed

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure" I nod with a smile "I had a fight with Brandon so I guess it was just stress"

"Well I'm gonna stay in the spear room down the hall tonight okay. Just in case anything happens" He tells me with a still worried look on his face.

"Luke you don't need to do that… I'll be fine"

"I'm staying Pretty Girl like it or not" I just nod and turn back to my laptop I had on my lap.

"Okay fine" I reply continuing with the essay I was writing "So you finished your essay yet Broody?"

"Yeah last night" He nods sitting in the chair at my desk "Wasn't very hard. I already knew what I was going to write about"

"Yeah me too, but I guess I've just had other things on my mind" I shrug "I'm done now though" I write the last sentence and get up my Hotmail ready to send it to Mr Lawrence "And… sent" I say with a smile "One less homework to worry about"

"That's good then" He tells me looking through my photo album I had left on the desk "I remember this" He turns the book to me "Your 17th birthday"

"Yeah" I place my laptop down beside me "Properly one of the best I've ever had"

"_**Happy Birthday Pretty Girl" I stir in my bed as I feel someone climb onto the bed and hover over me "Come on wakey wakey"**_

"_**Luukeee" I whine opening one eye and looking at my alarm clock on my bedside table "Its like 7:00 and it's a Saturday"**_

"_**And your birthday" He replies pulling the covers off of me "Where all going to palm beach for the long weekend remember"**_

"_**Yeah I remember" I mumble pointing to my bags by the door "See I packed. Now give me another 10 minutes please"**_

"_**Okay fine, but we want you down stairs in 20 minutes"**_

"_**I'll be there" He kisses my lips and I was awake "Oh you suck Mr Scott"**_

"_**Love you too baby" He laughs walking out the room as I throw a pillow at him.**_

_**-xx-**_

_**My birthday was nearly over, but this had been one of the best birthdays I've had in a very long time. Spending it with the people I love most has been fun considering I don't even like celebrating my birthday Lucas suggested to come to Palm Beach for the weekend since it's a long weekend and it has been perfect.**_

"_**Brooke come" I hear Peyton my bestest friend call out to me as I'm walking back from the drink stand down the other side of the beach "Picture time"**_

"_**Oh yaayy" I squeal grabbing Lucas's hand and pulling him the rest of the way "Picture time Broody"**_

"_**Awesome" I hear him reply sarcastically.**_

"_**Oh you love it really… these are memories worth cherishing Luke… we'll look back one day and smile about it" I tell him as we get closer to the others "Now come on"**_

"_**I'm coming" He picks me up and runs the rest of the way.**_

"_**Luukkeee" I squeal "Lucas Scott you put me down now" I demand as we stop by the others. Lucas pulls me over his shoulder and outs me down "Thank you" I kiss his cheek and join the girls taking pictures. Lucas looks over at me and gives me a small smile which I return it felt like we were going in slow motion like they do in films.**_

"_**Come on guys lets take one of all of us" Peyton shouts calling the guys to come over.**_

_**We all got in place. Us girls with our guys laughing and joking and then CLICK… and the perfect picture was captured… the picture I will cherish forever.**_

"I told you it was worth taking those pictures that day" I say getting up from the bed and walking over to him "It was a good idea to go to palm beach Luke"

"Yeah it was" He nods flicking through the rest of the album "OMG… you kept this" He held up the rose he put on my car the first time he started to like me.

"Of course" I take the rose from him "And the note attached" I turn the page and there was the note he had attached to the rose.

_**Coming out of the gym with the girls talking about the routine and the changes I was thinking of making I look over top my car and see a piece of paper attached to a rose. I say bye to the girls and head to my car. Once I approach I take the rose from the wind shield and read the not attached.**_

_A pretty rose for a very pretty girl_

_**Just those words put a smile on my face for the rest of the week.**_

"I have everything you have ever given me Luke" I tell him taking the rose and note to my closet and pulling out a purple and white box with 'Brucas' written on the top of it "See" I open the box and put the rose and note inside "I also have the note and teddy bear you attached to my locker asking me out"

_**Walking towards my locker with Peyton and Haley I see a me to you bear attached with a note just like last month when I found the rose and note attached to my car. I still don't know who had done that, but it was pretty sweet. All last months and this week I have been getting small things in my mail box, my bag and I liked it. Having a secret admiring was fun. **_

_**I take the bear from my locker with the note attached to it "Who's it from Brooke?" Peyton asks. I look at her with a small shrug.**_

"_**I don't know" I reply "Just like the rose and note I found last month and then the note and my favourite Disney movie in my mail box last week.**_

"_**Open it" Haley pushes with a smile on her face.**_

_**I take the note from the bear and open it.**_

_You're the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Go out with me tonight and if you turn around right now you'll know who I am x_

_**I then turned around and saw Lucas Scott walking towards me. A big smile spread across my face as he got closer. I had no idea that Lucas liked me. We hang out as a group all the time and not once had he done anything to hint at that. He stopped in front of me with a smile on his face and I felt butterflies start to flutter in my stomach.**_

"_**So will you?" He asks nodding to the note "Will you Brooke Davis go out with me tonight"**_

_**I looked at both Haley and Peyton who had big smiles on their faces like they knew this was coming.**_

"_**Yes Broody. I'll go out with you" I nod giving him a big huge "Thank you for the teddy"**_

"_**Anytime Pretty Girl"**_

"I really had no idea that you liked me like that at all" I tell him "You never said anything for years"

"Because I knew what kind of guys you go for and everytime I went to ask you out you'd be with someone, so I waited for my opportunity and instead of asking straight away I wanted to hint at it a little, but not tell you it was me" He reveals "I know you like surprises and when you would talk about getting a gift and a note from a secret admirer your face always lit up so I let it go on for a month, but then I couldn't wait any longer and I wanted to ask you… so I did"

"It's funny because I've never told you this before, but I actually had a crush on you for years, but at the point when I really liked you, you was with Georgia and that went on for 2 years so I moved on and started to date"

"Well at least we got each other eventually" He says and I nod

"Yeah at least we got each other in the end"

"Brooke…"

"Umm…"

"What are we doing here?" He asks putting the album he had in his hand down and turning to look at me fully. I put the lid on the box and sit legs crossed on the floor "I mean I love you so much and having this baby is bringing us closer. I know I screwed up and I will apologise for that as long as I have too"

"I read your assignment" I tell him seeing the look on his face just looked so worried and scared "I read it the day you gave it to me, but I haven't brought it up because once I finished it I wanted to come see you and jump in your arms and act like nothing happened, but I just couldn't" Tears burned my eyes and I knew I'd start to cry "It was really good… I didn't know you loved me as much as you do. I'm really the only girl you've loved truly?"

"Yeah Brooke you are… I've dated a lot of girls, but you are the only girl I really love. You are the only girl I've ever truly loved" He gets up from the chair and sits down opposite me on the floor "Please believe that"

"I do" I whispered a tear slipped down my cheek "I love you so much Lucas"

"I love you too pretty girl" He then pulled me into him and I felt at home all over again. This is where I had to be. This is where I felt safe. I only felt safe with Lucas.

**So there it is… I hope you liked it… the ending I love, but the next chapter will break some hearts just like it broke mine when I wrote it, but it's the way this story was always going to go and I'm going to apologise now and then apologise again once I feel brave enough to post it so maybe tonight or tomorrow or maybe even in 3 days' time… I'm not sure yet. **

**Anyway I hope you all had an awesome weekend… I know I did…**

**Press the REVIEW button below and let me know what you think please… love you all loads.**


	6. Broken Completely

**Heeey there you sexy people… didn't want to post this chapter so quickly, but since its already written why let it collect dust for a few more days and not post it… so here it is the next chapter… So I might have given it away in the last chapter, but yes you are all right and you will find out when you keep reading and I know you all might hate me and I'm sorry, but like I said it's the way this story was originally going to go and trust me I hated writing it because I never like writing a story where Brooke is hurting bad and when this story idea popped into my head I actually never saw myself writing it, but here I am…**

**So anyway please keep reading and let me know what you think.**

I woke up in pain… like serious pain… I started to scream… Lucas came running in from the living room turning on the light I see all the blood covered sheets and that was when I actually knew something had happened to my baby. I clutched my stomach as the pain got worse. Lucas flung back the covers wrapping me up in a cover he had grabbed and carried me to the car.

Before I knew it I was in some sort of room at the hospital lying on this bed that was not comfortable what so ever. Lucas was sat beside me with tears in his eyes. I knew it… I knew my baby was gone… just by looking at all that blood. No baby could survive after all that blood, but why me?

"Lucas…" I whisper "Luke"

"I'm sorry" he grabbed onto my hand and moved a piece of hair out my face "Oh Pretty Girl… I'm so sorry"

"No…" I shake my head as new fresh tears exploded out my eyes and down my cheeks "Oh god… Please no"

"I'm sorry Pretty Girl… you've lost the baby" My heart broke and I could feel it break in two… Not like when Lucas and Peyton broke my heart, but different… this was way different. I slowly moved my hand out of his grasp and turn my head to face the white wall when I heard the door to the room open and then close.

"I'm sorry I took so long Mr Scott" A lady with black hair says sitting in the chair by my bed "Brooke sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss"

I give out a loud sob and run my hand through my hair not saying anything. My crying says it all. My sight was still looking at the white wall. I just wanted to go home.

"When can she go home?" I hear Lucas's voice.

"Erm… well she can go home in about an hour" The lady replies typing at the computer.

"Okay thank you Doctor Valerie"

-xx-

"You'll have some more pain for the next week or so Brooke, so take these twice a day" Doctor Valerie tells me, but I still say nothing so she hands the pills to Lucas who thanks her again "Take care of her Lucas and I am sorry once again"

With that Lucas guided me outside to his car. Brandon and Peyton had come up for about 2o minutes until Lucas sent them home and then Haley came for about an hour, but Lucas sent Nathan to come get her and he promised to let her know how I was once I woke up. Lucas opened the door for me and I got in, put my seat belt on and looked out the window hugging my jacket to my body thinking about what I just lost and I couldn't get the image of all that blood out my head…

"So you hungry pretty girl?" Lucas asks pulling out of the hospital car park. It was now 8:00 in the morning so I was at the hospital for 8 hours to only get told that my baby had gone and most of them hours I was passed out… properly from seeing all that blood and when I don't respond I feel him looking at me "I could take us to my mom's café for breakfast" Still I say nothing.

It didn't take long for Lucas to drop conversation when I wouldn't reply he finally got the message that I didn't want to talk. He parks in my driveway and turns the engine off. I unclick my seat belt and climb out the car and head to the house in a very slow pace.

As usual the door was already open. Lucas was behind me. I open the door and walk in to be greeted my Brandon, Peyton, Haley and Nathan. They were all looking at me with sad eyes. With pity written all over their faces and I hated it. I hated that they pity me. I don't need them to pity me. I walk pass them all and head up the stairs to my room when I heard Brandon call after me "Brooke… wait… I haven't…" They all came running after me and stopped when they saw me stop at my bedroom door with the door open. My bed was covered in blood. It look exactly like it did last night.

I just stand there not saying anything. I hadn't shown any emotion since I stopped crying at the hospital about an hour before I got discharged and I hadn't said a word to anyone since Lucas told me I lost the baby. I just stare at my blood stained sheets and all the anger I felt from everything comes flooding out and I see RED! I stalk into my room and grab all the sheets from my bed "AAARRGGHH!" I scream throwing them out of my room watching as they hit the floor like everything was going in slow motion "AARRGGHH!" I yell again when I then take all the pictures of Peyton and myself and chuck them out my room along with the pictures of Lucas and me "Why me?" I question not to anyone, but just out loud "Why fucking me?" I scared myself with all the screaming I was doing. Everyone was just looking at me not knowing what to do and then I slammed my bedroom door and slid down it pulling my legs up to my chest and I cried "Why me?" I sobbed and I didn't stop for days.

-xx-

**LPOV**

A month… it's been a month and I haven't seen Brooke nor have I talked to her and that isn't because I'm hiding or because I don't care anymore. It's because she hasn't come out of her room ever since I watched her have a breakdown and I don't think it was all because she lost our baby, but I think it was everything that she was feeling from me cheating with her bestfriend to her brother sleeping with her bestfriend who is currently pregnant with her niece or nephew to her losing the baby she wanted so badly even if abortion did pass through her mind at the beginning.

I have feelings too and I'm hurting just as bad as Brooke is. I lost something too… I lost my little girl or little boy. I just wish that I could take away the pain she is feeling and somehow show her that it will get better, but I can't… I've seen her hurt before and I've seen her broken, but never have I seen her as broken as I did at the hospital or even in the car on the way back. I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything will be okay, but I'm not sure if it will be. Don't get me wrong I know Brooke is a very strong person, but when she found out I cheated she nearly broke down, but now she has broken down and I'm not sure she'll ever be the Brooke Davis everyone knows and loves again… maybe this has changed her… maybe the broken heart she has now will never be able to mend and I hate that she feels any sort of hurt. I just wish I could take it all away and we could be like we use to be and I just wish she was happy like she used to be… I know I screwed it up; her losing the baby was just the thing that pushed her over the edge.

-xx-

It's gone... My baby is gone... They keep telling me that it isn't or wasn't my thought, but here I am laying on my bed in my room closing myself off from the world and blaming myself. I was carrying it. It was inside of me and now I just feel completely empty. The one thing I loved the most and now it's gone and I couldn't do anything about it. That night replaying through my head. My bed soaking wet with blood and then hours later the doctor telling me that my baby was gone and that she was sorry.

I got discharged last month and since then I haven't left my room. Everything just makes me so mad. All the anger I had from months earlier came flooding back. Seeing Peyton still pregnant with my niece or nephew made me even more mad and upset. I couldn't stand looking at her even if she was once my bestfriend. I've had my heartbroken before, but this was and is different. This is a whole new heartbreak. My life has been shattered and will never be the same again.

"Brooke…" I hear my brother call from outside my bedroom door. I locked it all those weeks ago and only went out for something to eat and drink. I didn't want to ever face the world again, so I do my school work online and submit it that way. I don't give an answer just shut my eyes and cry some more "Brooke please come and eat with us"

"Go away Brandon" I shout poking my head out of my covers and pulling the cover around me tighter "I just want to be left alone"

"Brooke you haven't been out for a month. That isn't healthy" Brandon's voice is heard again with some other mutters that I couldn't really hear "Brooke please"

"No Brandon" I shout again "Just leave me alone!"

"You must be hungry Brooke" I sighed to myself dragging my still tired self out of bed and opened my bedroom door to see Lucas, Peyton, Haley and Brandon standing on the other side of it. Walking pass them I head down to the kitchen and grab a diet soda and a banana.

"Happy" I hold up the items in my hands and show him "Now I'm going back to bed and I don't want to be disturbed" I say passing them all again and heading to the stairs.

"Brooke baby come out with us" I stop in my tracks and turn to look at him.

"Come out with you" I shake my head with a bitter laugh "Come out with the guy who cheated on me with my bestfriend who is dating my brother and is pregnant by him... No thanks" I turn again and walk to the stairs "I think I'm better off in my room"

"I thought we got through all that Brooke" Lucas says with a hurt expression on his face making me laugh a little more.

"Are you actually being serious?" I ask shaking my head again "Don't act like you wanted me Luke. Don't act like you weren't only with me because of the baby, but now there's no more baby you don't have to pretend to love me. You're free to go" I shrug "As for Peyton we were never friends and never will be again. You betrayed me twice and I'm not sticking round for the third time which is why on Friday I'm leaving for California for 6 months to clear my head"

"Brooke..." He goes to say something else, but I cut him off.

"Nah its okay Luke I knew this was all too good to be true. It's not like either one of us wanted the baby anyway. It was an accident, so don't worry about it" I tell him somehow with a straight face on "Just know my love for you was all real"

"You can't just leave" Brandon says and I turn my eyes to him.

"I can and I am. My flight leaves at 12:00am" I shrug "I submit my work online so nothing is really stopping me anymore"

"What about us Brooke?" Lucas sounded so sad, but right now I don't care. I'm doing me now, no one else, but me, me and me.

"There is no us Luke" I reply "I'm leaving and that's all there is to it. You're free to go now Broody. Live your life and I'll live mine. Be happy Luke. Just be happy" I tell him before running up the stairs and to my room and I act like I didn't hear him mutter that he 'Is happy with me'

-xx-

So lying to everyone might have been the wrong move, but that's the only way I could get out of here without saying the emotional goodbyes I know would happen if they found out my flight leaves in about 4 hours, but I also know that Brandon will call my Aunt Sasha to have her confirm that I was really leaving, so I knew I had exactly about half an hour to get out and head for the airport.

I had my bedroom door closed and locked for a reason. I wasn't only hiding away from the world, but I was also packing all my stuff. I had about 3 suitcases all packed. I looked around my room remembering all the memories I once had. Everything had changed now. It's funny how much has changed in the last 9 months.

I hear my cell phone ring. I jump over my pink suitcase and grab my phone on the forth ring. California line.

"Hello" I slide the lock on my phone to answer.

"_**Hey B"**_ It was Rachel. Typical… she always did have the gift of ringing me when I was extremely busy _**"You all packed?"**_

"Yep" I look at my almost empty closet "I'm all packed and ready to go. I booked a cab for half 12. Should be here soon"

"_**Good good"**_ I could hear the glee in my cousins voice. When I rang her just after I lost my baby and told her, she just listened to me and then she suggested for me to come to Cali to clear my head away from Tree Hill and without thinking about it I jumped at that idea and brought my ticket _**"So Mom had something come up, so she let me borrow the car and I'm coming to get you"**_

"Okay" I shuffle around my room looking out the window for my cab "I should land at half nine"

"_**I'll be there quarter past"**_ She says in a cheery tone just as my cab pulls up outside.

"_**Okay Rach well I gotta go cabs here"**_ I tell her quickly _**"I'll see you soon"**_

"Yeah cool bye B" I hang up putting my phone in my jean pocket as I go to grab one of my suitcases and start to lug it down the stairs.

-xx-

"6 months..." Lucas says sitting in a booth at his Mom's cafe with Peyton, Haley and Brandon "That is way too long to clear her head"

"We know that Luke" Peyton responds rubbing her rather big belly.

"She'll be gone 6 months" He just couldn't believe his Pretty Girl was leaving for 6 months.

"Maybe she won't go" Haley says with a small smile "Maybe she'll stay"

"Nah" They all look at Brandon who was holding his phone in his hand "She's going"

"Yeah that's what she says now" Haley mutters "Maybe he'll change her mind"

"No Hales she's going" Brandon shakes his head "Aunt Sasha just confirmed. Brooke brought her ticket this morning and she and Rachel are going to go and pick her up at the airport, but she did lie about one thing"

"And what's that?"

"Her flight leaves in about 4 hours"

"Wait... What?" They all jump out their seats and head for Brandon's car and heading back to Brandon's and Brooke's home.

-xx-

As I was lugging my suitcases out of the house I see Brandon's car park up in fast speed with Peyton, Lucas and Haley in tow. So he called Aunt Sasha just like I knew he would. I lug my last bag to the cab which the driver puts in the boot for me. I thank him with a smile then walk back into the house grabbing my normal bag and jacket then shutting the door. Lucas was the first one to be in front of me "You're leaving now?"

"Yep" I reply putting my jacket on then slinging my bag over my shoulder. I circle him and head to the cab waiting for me.

"But you said Friday"

"I also said I was okay with you sleeping with my bestfriend, but hey never mind aye" I respond walking down the drive way.

"Brooke..." I turn to see a teary eyed Haley walking towards me. She is properly the only one I like right now "Don't go"

"I have to Hales" I tell her bringing her into a tight hug "I'm gonna miss you Tutor Girl"

"I'm gonna miss you too Tigger"

"Stay" I hear my brother mutter beside me "Please"

"No" I shake my head coming out the hug with Haley "I have to go. I need to leave"

"Brooke..." Peyton said next, but I just cut her off.

"I'll be back in 6 months Hales. I'll see you then"

"But that's a very long time" She replies wiping a tear from her eye "It's a long time to be gone Brooke"

"Yeah I know, but right now I can't be here" I open the cab door then look back at them "I'm sorry for lying about my flight, but it's the only way I could leave without saying bye"

"Why?" Lucas muttered walking closer "Brooke... Baby... Please stay"

"This is why I wasn't gonna say bye Luke" I tell him wiping a tear from my cheek "I hate goodbyes"

"You make it sound like you're never coming back" He pulls me into him and I wanna fight. I wanna fight him so bad, but I can't. I just can't "I love you Pretty Girl... I love you so much"

"Luuukeee..." I pull away "Please... Don't do this"

"Brooke..."

"I-I have to go" I then get into the cab and close the door. Lucas still standing so close. I lean forward to the driver "Airport please" I say before leaning back in my seat clipping my seat belt in and waving bye to him, Haley and my brother ignoring the blond blue eyed girl I once called my bestfriend.

**So there it is… I know it sort of happened faster than any of you would have thought, but I really didn't want to drag it out and make Brooke look all depressing, but I also wanted her to look like she had broken completely… I know you all think I properly should have done at least one chapter of Brooke feeling hurt and blocking everyone out, but I didn't want to do that I wanted to just get it out there… she lost the baby, she breaks down a little then she acts all brave and puts a fake smile on and acts like she's okay when in reality she isn't and I'm not sure if you all see it, but I do reading it over at least 5 times. **

**I also put a Lucas POV in this chapter because I think it was important to see what Lucas is thinking and this story is all based around Brooke when its meant to be a Brucas story so I'm needing to put LPOV's in there now and again… so bare with me.**

**Anyway as usual let me know what you think and click the REVIEW button below… Thanks. Love you all loads… Roch xoxo**


	7. California!

**Hey guys… so ehh Brooke lost the baby and it was very sad I know… someone asked why does Peyton get to keep the baby and Brooke loses hers well I cant answer that question all I can say is that this is the way the story was meant to go from the start and I'm sorry if you hate that Peyton is pregnant. Anywayyss I hope you all keep reading and let me know what you think.**

It has been 3 months… 3 months since I left Tree Hill to come to California and I must say it was properly the best thing I could have done. I extended my stay once I got an email from Brandon saying Peyton had the baby. Aunt Sasha and Uncle Henry have been great. Rachel my cousin has been on my back about going to see someone I can talk to since I won't talk to family or anyone back home… I keep telling her I don't need to see someone, but she refuses to believe that and replies with _'It's not healthy to keep everything bottled up Brooke… I would know' _but what she doesn't understand is having a guy dump you is not has heart-breaking as having a miscarriage and then trying to get your life back together.

So here I am sitting in the guest room which I guess is now my room. Legs crossed on the bed laptop on my lap… a ping is heard throughout the room signalling that another email has come through. I click on my mail box and find another email from Brandon… the title said 'Baby Girl' I sigh loudly deleting the email without opening it and shut my laptop. I replied to Haley's email this morning. The door to my room opens and in walks in my cousin with two tops "Which one today B?" She asks holding them up so I can have a look.

"I don't know" I shrug standing up from my bed.

"You're the fashion expert Brooke… help me out here" She begs with her puppy dog eyes. I roll my eyes and take a breath.

"Okay fine…" I look at both tops carefully examining them "The purple one" I tell her "Oh and make sure you wear either a white skirt or white jeans with your purple pumps… you'll look hot"

"Oh how I love you right now B… You're a genius"

"Yeah I know right" I joke with a small laugh "Anyway where you going?"

"Oh Julian is taking me out for the day…" She replies with a smile "His so great"

"Yeah you seem happy Rach"

"I am" She nods giving me a quick hug "So you gonna give the therapy another go on Friday"

I roll my eyes walking into my walk in closet looking for a jacket to wear "Rach… It's not gonna…"

"Work…" She finishes for me "Yeah so you keep saying, but you'll never know unless you keep going"

"I don't see the point when all I do is sit there and listen to her talk… it's really not going to work"

"Brooke…"

"Rachel just leave it okay" I give her a stern look as I walk out the closet "If I want to go on Friday I will go, but I have an assignment she gave me last Friday and I still haven't tried it so… yeah"

"I'm only trying to help Brooke"

"Yeah well I don't need your help" I grab my jacket from behind my bedroom door and head down the corridor.

"Where you going?"

"To Danny's" I yell back "Not like it's any of your business" I then head out the door slamming it behind me.

-xx-

"So she isn't going Friday then?" Julian asks as he helps Rachel get out of the car

"I don't know" Rachel replies smoothing down her skirt "She blew up on me earlier when we were discussing it"

"Its still a tough topic for her Rach" Julian tells his girlfriend

"Yeah I know that I'm only trying to help her"Rachel says taking julians hand and heading to the diner by the beach "That's why I've called Ashley"

"Wait… you did what?" Julian stops spinning Rachel round to look at him "Why the hell did you do that for?"

"She needs help Julian and she wont let me help her, so I had no other choice"

"She wont ever talk to you again if she finds out Rach" Julian answers back.

"Like I said she needs help and if she wont let me help her then I had to call Ash… Brooke is breaking everyday and if someone doesn't help her… who knows how bad it'll get" Rachel had a point, but Julian also knew that Brooke wasn't going to like the fact Rachel involved Ashley.

"She wasn't happy when Brandon came back… what makes you think she'll be happy to see Ashley?" He questions taking rachels hand again and opening the diner door for her walking in after her.

"Brandon came back because of getting Peyton preggers… Ashley is coming back for Brooke… so maybe she wont take it as bad as you think"

"Or she'll shout and yell and not talk to you the rest of the time she's here… or she might even get on a plane back to tree hill"

"Well I guess were just going to have to wait and see" Rachel shrugs walking to the booth further from the door but by the window "Ashley gets here tomorrow"

"Oh and let the firworks begin" Julian mutters shaking his head picking up the menu and looking through it.

-xx-

"Hey Brooke" I smile when I see Riley behind the counter.

"Well if it isn't peanut" I take a seat on a stool in front of him.

"Your gonna hold that against me forever aren't you?"

I nod with a laugh "Sure am"

"Yeah I thought so" He shook his head at me placing a Strawberry sundae in front of me.

"Thank you" I take the spoon and shuffle it into my mouth. The coldness feeling good in this heat "So how is Kallie?" I ask trying to do what my councillor had suggested… to talk about babies. First time trying.

"Brooke we don't have to talk about that" He says knowing what had happened.

I met Bradley the third week being in Cali… I wanted some good food so Rachel and Julian suggested Danny's. They were busy so I came alone bumping into him as I walked through the door… the peanut sundae he had on the tray crashed all over him hence the nickname peanut. Ever since then we hit it off pretty good and become really good friends… Then one of the days we were just talking and the topic of babies came up and he sensed how I tensed up and in the end I just revealed just about me having a miscarriage. We didn't talk too much about it, but after that he never wanted to bring up the fact he had just had a baby with his fiancée. So the expression on his face right now didn't surprise me… it looked worried and confused.

"Nah it's okay" I tell him taking another scoop of my ice cream "How is Kallie and baby Oliver?"

"If you're sure?" He questions and I just nod trying the best I could to hold back the pain that was starting to reach the surface "They're great" He smiles "Oliver is just such a blessing… we tried so hard for him and now his here in the world my life seems complete"

"Aww Brad that is so cute" I just about get out as tears started to fill my eyes "Is Kallie loving motherhood" A tear slipped down my cheek which I wipe away quickly, but I know Bradley saw it.

"Brooke you okay?" He asks in a concerned tone

"Yeah I'm fine… I guess it still hurts some" I shrug taking another scoop of my ice cream and shuffling it into my mouth "I was just trying to do what my councillor said not thinking it'd be this hard… I'm sorry"

"Don't be… I know how much it hurts… I've been there Brooke" I nod with a small smile. He and Kallie went through two miscarriages until they finally got Oliver "It does get better Brooke… I promise"

"I'll hold you to that Johnson" I smile "But I have to get going… I have a date with Dean Winchester"

"Supernatural… again… really Brooke" He raises his eye brow "Well I'll catch you later Little B"

"Always" I nod giving him the money for the sundae and leaving with a smile on my face like always.

-xx-

**LPOV**

Its been 7 months and I haven't spoken to Brooke since I watched her leave in that cab waving goodbye to me. I watched the love of my life exit my life and its been 7 months since I've seen anyone else. Yep that's right… I haven't been out my house since Brooke left except from going to school I haven't spoken to anyone. I've sent her a bunch of emails and I've rung her a couple of times, but she hasn't replied to anything and I miss her. I miss her like crazy and I wished she just let me in, but she didn't… she pushed me out further than I ever thought she would. I look up at the pictures of Brooke and I when we were happy and it just crushes me even more knowing that I screwed that up. I grab my phone from my jean pocket and dial her number bringing the phone to my ear.

On the fourth ring it goes to voicemail _**'This is Brooke Davis… I'm sorry I couldn't take your call right now, but leave your name and number at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as I can'**_… beep… I could see Brooke in my head right now… I can just see her now looking at the phone and waiting for me to hang up or waiting for it to go to voicemail and I don't blame her, but a part of me just hopes every day that she'll pick up and just let me know that she's okay and how she is coping because I'm not coping all that good. Everyone would think that I'd be coping better, but the truth is I'm not. I'm suffering and I'm hurting real bad… very bad and the pain is hard to get through.

-xx-

Instead of watching supernatural like I normally would I decided to finish my homework that I had to send of tonight, so here I was spread out on my bed writing my essay that Mr Lawrence had sent me via email 3 days ago. This online school thing was working out pretty good. I was getting A's in all my classes which meant I could graduate with everyone else. My life was picking up gradually. I had just finished the last sentence when I heard my phone ringing. I looked beside me and saw Lucas's name and face flash on the screen. It has been the 1ooth time he has rang me since I've been here and everytime I let it go to voicemail and even then he'll leave a message. I'll listen to it and feel bad, but not call him back and then he'll ring me again at the same time the next day. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he hasn't forgotten about me and that he still cares about me enough to call me every day, but actually talking to him… I don't know… something in me just won't let me call him back or pick up the phone. The ringing stopped and sure enough a message came up that I have one new message. Surprise… surprise… I sit up and cross my legs looking at my phone. I take a deep breath and pick it up typing in my voicemail code and putting the phone to my ear.

'_**You have one new message and 76 saved messages… new message… Hey Pretty Girl it's just me, but yet you properly already know that. So this is my 77th message I'm leaving on your phone. I don't know if you ignore my messages or if your just busy everytime I call even though I call every day at the same time and I don't know if you even listen to these voicemails, but I leave them anyway because I miss you. I've sent you 45 emails… one a day and I know you read them because I can feel it inside me. God I miss you pretty girl. I haven't really been out the house since you left and it hit me that I lost you and our baby…'**_ Okay I really feel bad now… hearing his voice all sad just makes me want to pack everything up and go back to tree hill… but the only thing stopping me now is my newly born niece that I'd have to see all the _**time 'So you properly already know that Peyton had the baby and it's a baby girl. I know you don't want to talk about it or think about it, but we could have properly dealt with it together and I know I've said it in all my messages, but it's true. We might have been able to get through this together. It's only been 3 months 2 weeks and 6 days since you left and I'm counting down the days until you come back baby. Well I have to go now Mom is calling me. Miss you and Love you always Pretty Girl… Bye'**_ Then his voice was gone and the mechanical lady's voice appeared again 'If you'd like to save the message key 1, delete key 2 or hear the message again please key 3 now' I pressed 1 and hung up throwing my phone on the bed beside me and flinging my head back on my bed.

**Review please!**


	8. You Did WHAT!

**Hi guys sorry for the late chapter I've just been real busy with things and stuff, but anyway got a review asking me if I should maybe send Lucas to California and I was thinking about it… so thank you to everyone who is reviewing and following or just following it means a lot to me.**

**Oooo random thing… I have just finished watching Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters and I would say it is one awesome film just like Red Riding Hood… I would totally recommend you guys watch both of them if you haven't already… I'm going to watch Snow White and The Huntsmen tomorrow as I'm starting to get really tired and trying to keep my eyes open just so I can post this chapter then I'm off to the land of Marshmallows and no cares in the world.**

**Anyway I hope ya'll are having an awesome weekend and here is the next chapter and since I haven't yet started chapter 9 I would like to apologise in advance that I won't update anytime soon… maybe in like a week or so… so please do forgive me as I go back to work on Tuesday.**

**Enjoy!**

I was sat on the couch watching Pretty Little liars which always reminds me of when I made Lucas watch it for the very first time. That memory made me smile.

"_**Lucas come sit" I motion for him to come sit with me on the couch. One of my favourite programmes was about to come on.**_

"_**What we watching?" He asks walking towards me with two cans of soda in his hands.**_

"_**Pretty Little Liars is coming"**_

"_**Annnnnd that's my cue to leave" He says putting my diet cola down in front of me then going to walk out the living room and towards the front door.**_

"_**Luuuukeee" I whine getting up and rushing to him so he couldn't leave. I stand in front of him with my bottom lip poking out "Come watch with me" I pout pulling on his shirt poking my bottom lip out further "Pretty please and plus it's late out"**_

"_**Broooooke… I'm a guy" He says making me laugh "I'm not meant to watch things like that"**_

"_**Yeah, but don't you love me?" I walk slowly towards him "I mean you don't want me to be all alone in this big house do you?" I nibble at his ear lobe knowing what that does to him "I mean my brother moved out and my sister is gone too"**_

"_**Baby" He grasps and I smile.**_

"_**Hmm?" I lean up to his ear again "I'll make it worth your while" I whisper seductively in his ear seeing him swallow hard.**_

"_**Oookay" He grasps again dragging out the word.**_

_**I grab him by the hand and pull him towards the living room "Awesome" Lucas sits down and I plonk myself down beside him laying my legs over his as Pretty Little Liars makes an appearance on the TV.**_

"Hey" I was brought out my thoughts when I heard Rachel and Julian walk in holding hands with smiles on their faces.

"I've got to be somewhere" I say turning off the TV and getting up from the chair going to walk out the room.

"Brooke wait…" I hear her voice say so I stop "I'm sorry"

"You're sorry" I retort back looking at her "Yeah so you should be… I get your trying to help me Rach I do, but I can only take so much right now and going to the therapist isn't helping me so why waste my time"

"You have to give it time Brooke" She replies "Just give it some time"

"Rachel…"

"I called Ashley" She cut in and all the blood drained out of me… what the hell was she playing at. Why in god's name did she call my sister?

"You did what!" I yell my eyes widening "You called Ashley"

"I had too" She defends walking towards me "You wouldn't let me help you"

"And you thought calling the sister who left me for years was a better way of helping me?" I question stepping back from her.

"She was worried when I rang her Brooke… she misses you"

"Oh she doesn't miss me that much if she hasn't been in contact with me since her left 5 years ago Rach… God! She isn't going to help me and neither are you!" I yell at her seeing her flinch a little… Julian hadn't said a word since they arrived and I don't think I want him too "When are you going to get that this isn't going to get better Rachel… I lost my baby" Tears immediately came to my eyes "My baby is gone and there is nothing anyone can do about it and going to therapy so the lady can make me relive it isn't going to help… I couldn't even do the stupid task she gave me so how the hell will I even be able to talk about it"

"Brooke… I…"

"No" I shake my head violently at her "No Rachel… god you just have to let me deal with this myself… everyone kept telling me over the years that I'm strong dealing with everything so just let me deal with this myself and ringing Ashley isn't going to change anything… I don't need her and I don't need you if your just gonna go behind my back and betray me"

"I did it to help you"

"Stop with the helping because you're just going to push me away further" I tell her turning around and walking out the living room and up to my room. I just needed to be left alone for a while.

-xx-

The next morning came in a flash I didn't even realise I feel a sleep until I woke up at 6:00 the next morning still in my clothes I had on the previous day. I slowly climb out of bed and jump in a quick shower then dressing in just sweat pants and a tank top leaving the house going for a run.

I ended up down the pier 2 hours after I left for my run. I took my headphones out of my ears and sat on a boulder I saw looking over the ocean. What has my life become… I'm now a runaway girl who runs away from her problems instead of facing the and as I think about it Lucas was right maybe I should have stayed and tried to work through all the mess with him… maybe we could have helped each other, but instead of taking that option in I just run and jump on the next flight to California and ignore his calls and emails… not calling him back or anything… I thought moving out of tree hill for a while would work and I'd be able to start the healing process, but it hasn't… nothing has seemed to work and I've been here 3 months already. Maybe if I start to take Lucas's calls then maybe things will start getting better… or I could just move back home and see what happens and then I think about Peyton and her baby girl and that is properly the only thing keeping me in California right now… not being able to face them and the perfect world there in right now. So I'm just gonna stay put for a while and hopefully by the time I'm ready to go home I would have healed a little… a little is better then nothing… riight?

-xx-

**LPOV**

Not hearing from Brooke for 3 months hurt… I know she's going through a lot and so am I and I know she might still hate me a little, but I still hoped she would at least email me to let me know how she was doing and if she was healing, but she hadn't and it hurt… a lot… so I decided to make the first move and instead of waiting for her to come to me… I'm going to her. Yep you all heard rightly… I am flying to California today. So here I was packing a bag before my cab turned up to take me to the airport for my 4:00pm flight.

"What you doing?" Haley asks and she walks into my room from the side door "You going somewhere?"

"Yeah I am" I reply taking a few t-shirts from my drawer and placing them in my gym bag that I normally use for basketball practice.

"And where's that?" She questions plonking herself down on my bed.

"California" I state seeing the confused look on her face "Cab will be in 10"

"Wait… what?" She stands up and I can see her trying to process what I just said in her head.

"I called Brandon and asked him for the address so I'm going to California" I state zipping up my bag and placing it on the chair by the door looking through my cabinet for my passport.

"You sure you want to do this Luke… I mean Brooke left for a reason" She says and I know she's right, but maybe if Brooke and I are both away from Tree Hill then maybe she'll let me in… maybe we'll be able to heal together and if not at least I can say I tried.

"I'm sure" I nod grabbing my passport when I find it and putting it in the side of my bag

"When you coming back?"

"I'm just going for a week" I respond and see a worry look cross her face "Don't worry Hales I'll be back… I promise"

"Yeah I know" She nods bringing me in for a hug "Just promise me you'll look after her and don't push her Luke… she's not ready for that"

"I promise" I whisper into her ear… she nodded pulling away from me "Bye Hales"

"I'll see you soon Luke" I kissed her cheek picked up my bag and walked outside luckily the cab had just pulled up… I was on my way to the airport to go California and I hadn't even rung Brooke to tell her.

-xx-

Walking back to the house was quiet chilly since it's the middle of December and even though its winter I never feel it… I never have… so it's just like another summer to me and that's why I'm wearing a tank top without a jumper. As I get nearer to the house I see a dark blue mustang parked next to mine and Rachel's car... it looked familiar and if I was right then that would mean my bitch of a sister had arrived. I slowly walk up the three steps to the front door and push the handle down pushing it open and walking in to hear voices coming from the living room… instead of making myself known I walk straight to the fridge and grab a bottle water when I feel a presence walk in behind me.

"It's rude not to say hi" I hear her voice… the voice I last heard say bye to me when she packed up and left in her car… a van coming to get the rest of her stuff not even leaving a new address or anything just taking her stuff and she was gone… it was like she got erased of the map and disappeared.

"Yeah well it's also rude not to answer your phone calls or voicemails which I've left many off by the way" I reply not looking at her put taking a swig of water from the bottle "I'm going for a shower" I state going to walk pass her.

"Brooke I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you called me about Lucas and Peyton" She tells me and again tears came straight to my eyes "I'm sorry I hadn't picked up your calls and I'm really sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most" My head snaps round to look at her and she looked different. She didn't look like the Ashley I use to know, but it has been 5 years.

"Rachel shouldn't have called you" I muttered "And you really shouldn't have come… you're just wasting your time being here" I then walk out pass her and down the corridor.

"Brooke I'm here to help you" She shouts to me as I stop by the stairs.

"You weren't there when I needed you Ashley… so what makes you think I need you now" I state giving her a final look before running up the stairs and to my room.

-xx-

"I told you she'd be mad" Julian says walking into Rachel's room "I haven't seen her this mad since last summer when you told her you slept with Connor"

"Oh come on I was drunk and Brooke didn't really have a right to b mad" Rachel defended "They broke up way before we hooked up"

"Riight… but the point is she is really mad Rach and its all your fault"

"I was just trying to help… jeez I try and do something nice for my cousin who I'm very worried about might I add and this is how she repays me… by biting my head off" Rachel plonks herself down on her bed with a little huff

"And calling Ashley wasn't going to help anyone it was just going to make Brooke mad"

"Yeah well she's here now and maybe eventually before she leaves she and Brooke can rekindle some sort of relationship as well as her helping Brooke through this miscarriage stuff"

"I know you have good intensions babe I just wish you would let her figure this out herself and then once she has tried she can seek for help and I mean real help" He tells her.

"Yeah maybe your right, but I will still worry"

"That's fine babe… worry all you like, but let Brooke be and adult when or if she needs help I'm sure she'll ask for it" Rachel didn't respond to that she just nodded slightly letting out a small sigh.

-xx-

She actually came… she came all the way to California and for what? To help me! Well how many times do I have to keep telling these annoying people who seem to not listen to me that I don't need flaming help and if I wanted this hassle I would have stayed in Tree Hill and have everyone back their getting on my nerves and claiming that they are trying to help me too. God when are people going to realise that I am Brooke Penelope Davis and I deal with loss a whole different way than most… some would call it supressing the emotions, but I call it frozen emotions meaning if you have no heart you don't feel just like in Vampire Diaries where Damon at first had no feeling and killed whoever whenever he liked, but once he let himself fall for the girl all his feelings came back to him and he supressed everything else and showed he had some sort of heart and boom… he could hurt again… just as if he was actually human which he wasn't…

You see if I could I would totally be a vampire and I'd turn off my humanity switch without a second guess just like Elena did when her house burnt down, but the difference between her and me I wouldn't let anyone near me enough to change that. If I could right now I'd flip the humanity switch and choose myself not to feel anything… too not feel any emotion what so ever and then maybe… just maybe this whole loss thing once again will finally go away and I can get over it, but this isn't some TV show this was real life… this is my life and like I told Rachel yesterday I will deal with it in my own way in my own time.

I moved my head to the side to look at the clock on my beside table as I lay there. It was 10:00 in the evening and I heard the doorbell ring… I didn't move to go and get it I just figured one of the others would get it, but then it rang another three times so I shifted myself off the bed and stumbled to my bedroom door and down the corridor to the stairs making my way down to the front door when the bell rings once more. I place my hand on the cool mental handle and press down then pulling to open the door and I was shocked to see who was on the other end of it… this was something I was not expecting and I wasn't sure if I was meant to be happy he was here or angry he invaded what I wanted when I decided to leave.

"Lucas…" I mutter "What you doing here?"

**Well there you have it… what do you think… please let me know and just leave a review by clicking the REVIEW button below… Doesn't have to be long… it could be short just want to know what ya'll think of it.**

**Thanks… Love you all loads Roch xoxo**


	9. Can I Let You Back In?

**Heeey you good looking people… Sorry this chapter is late, but I didn't know how to go with it… So I did as one of my reviewers has asked and everything changed so it was hard to do this chapter…**

**I want to say thank you for reviewing so far and following this story. I love you all loads. So hopefully you don't get frustrated with me after reading the story, but please press review and let me know what you think. I do appreciate you sticking with me….**

"_Lucas… What you doing here?" _

I was shocked. I did not expect him to be here and I'm not sure if I'm happy his here or if I'm mad that he just shows up unannounced. I let go off the door handle and didn't know what else to say and he hadn't answered my question on why he was here standing at the door of my cousin's house… First it was Ashley turning up when not wanted and now I have Lucas here as well.

"Lucas…" I found my voice again and put my hands on my hips "What you doing here?"

"I came to see you" He says putting down his bag "I wanted to see you and you haven't been answering my calls or emails and I wanted to know if you were alright"

"And you could have asked Haley" I state turning around and walking further into the house.

"I didn't want to ask Haley… I wanted to just make sure you were fine after everything" He says following me into the house and shutting the door behind me.

"Well as you see I'm fine" I say walking down the hall and into the kitchen hearing Lucas following me I grab two bottles of water from the fridge and hand him one.

"So this is Rachel's house huh?"

"Uh yeah" I nod taking a seat on the stool at the island "So erm… how is everything back home?"

"Well Haley and Nathan are fine… Brandon and Peyton had their baby, but I haven't really seen anyone other than Haley" He tells me and I just give a simple nod "How's things here?"

"Not bad" I tell him "Rachel has been trying to get me to go Therapy and I did go for like 3 sessions, but they don't do anything and I don't want to talk" I look away from him, but I can still feel his eyes on me "I couldn't even do the assignment she asked me and I fi couldn't do that then why go back to see her and waste my time?"

"Maybe talking to someone who isn't involved will help" He says taking a sip of his water

"Well it doesn't obviously otherwise I'd go back" I respond with an eye roll "It doesn't help" I wasn't sure at this point if I was trying to convince everyone that therapy didn't help me or if I was telling myself that I didn't need help that I could get pass this myself and deep down I think I know I can't, but the thing is I can't help but hope that sometime soon I won't be hurting anymore.

-x-

Lucas is staying down the hall because Rachel once again wants to butt into my business and says that maybe I'll need him close just in case… just in case what? I don't need him. I'm fine. God! I wish everyone would just leave it and let me move on. That's all I want to do. I just want to move on. If I can forget then I will stop hurting. I lay in my bed just staring at the ceiling. This house seemed to be too full for me. Lucas down the hall. Rachel next door to me, but this is her house and then you have Ashley opposite. What next Brandon and Peyton knocking on the flaming door… if that happened I would pack up everything I brought here and get on a plane to anywhere and just disappear. They would never know where I went and they would never hear from me again. I turn my head and see my bedside alarm clock say its 4:00 in the morning. I groan hate not being able to sleep. I then hear my phone buzz from under my pillow. I take it out and see I have a new message from Lucas… he was down the hall from me and his messaging me. Okay that's strange. I shrug and open it…

_**You awake? L x**_

Do I really want to talk to him? Do I really want to get through this with him? Would it help if I did talk to someone about it? Would it help if I let him in? I look at the text again and decide to message him back.

_**Yeah… I can't sleep… B x**_

I place the phone on my stomach and take a deep breathe. If I let him in, how do I know he won't continue to hurt me? Just because he came to California doesn't change anything or does it? My head is confused and I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to let him in, but I also don't want to hurt anymore. I feel my phone buzz again.

_**Wanna go for a walk… I know this place down by the ocean… L x**_

How the hell does he know anywhere in California? Maybe his been here before and I don't know about it or maybe he saw it when he was in the taxi over here. I debate whether to say yes. I know if I go we'll talk and if we talk I might just let my guard down and let him in… or I'll be able to hold it together and just chill with him. I press reply…

-x-

**LPOV**

Not being able to sleep as come naturally the past 6 months. Everything seems to get harder instead of easier. Coming here was easy, but I did it in fear that Brooke would slam the door in my face and turn me away, but when she didn't I knew we had a chance of working everything out. I knew that if she let me stay then maybe at some point before I go back to Tree Hill she'll be able to let me in. Maybe she'll talk to me and tell me what she really is thinking and then we'll be one step closer to helping each other. So texting her was my step of moving closer to being able to show her it is okay to let her guard down around me even though what I did before was awful this time I won't betray her trust. She messaged me back which is a good sign. So my last text had asked her to go for a walk with me down by the ocean I saw when I was in the taxi on the way to her. Because we had to go pass the ocean and down a long road I saw a spot where if I lived in California would be my place to just go and think and maybe if I take Brooke there then she'll open up. It's worth a shot.

So here I am lying in the room Rachel said I could stay in and texting Brooke hoping she'll agree to go for that walk. I look at my phone, but I don't see a reply. Disappointment flooded through my body and then I felt my phone buzz and it was from Brooke…

_**Erm… sure… Be down stairs in 5… B x**_

A smile crept on my face as I pulled back the covers climbed out and got dressed into sweat pants and a t-shirt putting on my oversized hoodie that she loved so much when we were dating. I then press reply…

_**Okay cool… see you in 5… L x**_

I put my phone in my hoodie pocket and head out of the room and down the stairs to meet Brooke.

-x-

Agreeing to meet Lucas was a good idea right? A walk with him won't be such a bad idea. It could help. Just being around him could help. Maybe I'll let my guard down and just let him help me… let us help each other. I want to believe so bad that I can do that because truly in my heart I believe that we could help each other, but last time I trusted him he betrayed me in the worst place possible. I miss Brucas… but… Brucas is broken and I'm not sure if we can ever mend it no matter how much I want to. I'm down stairs waiting for him by the door in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt wearing a matching jumper.

"Ready to go" I hear Lucas's voice from behind me. I don't say anything, but just nod. He gives me a small smile and we head out at 4:00 in the morning down by the ocean.

Once we reach the ocean I see a rock by the cliff side and sit down on it Lucas sitting on the one beside mine. The silence we fell into wasn't awkward and I was glad about that. Just sitting here with him felt comfortable. It felt like old times. It felt safe.

"It's nice out here huh?" I say looking out at the ocean. The moon light shining off the water "Peaceful"

"Well it is 4:15 in the morning Brooke" I smile giving a little laugh. Properly the first proper laugh in months.

"It's crazy being out at this time of the morning… don't you think?" I ask turning to glance at him then turn back to the ocean "But then again I haven't really slept in months so I guess it doesn't really change anything"

"Me either" He states and I can feel him move a little closer to me so he was sitting on the same rock as me "Brooke…"

"I feel erm…" I cut in. I didn't know what I was saying… well actually I did know what I was saying. I was going to let my guard down. I was going to tell him what I was feeling, but I stopped myself. I couldn't let him know. I didn't want too so instead I stand up looking down at him putting my hands in my jumper pockets "I'm gonna head back… maybe I can sneak in a couple hours sleep. Thanks for the walk though Luke" And before he could stop me I speed walk away from him and head back to the house. That was close…

-x-

The next day was going pretty fast. I haven't been avoiding Lucas since that would be hard since he came here for me, but I have been avoiding Ashley even though she was here for the same reason as Lucas… I didn't want to see her at all. I sit in the living room when Rachel comes in "Hey you"

"Hi" I mutter letting out a sigh

"You going to the party tonight?" She asks trying to make conversation I just nod "Good. Julian is taking me"

"That's great" I fake a smile turning and looking at her "Now if you don't mind I want to be left alone"

"How long you going to hate me?" She questions sitting forward in her seat opposite me

"How long you going to meddle into my business?" I respond also moving forward in my seat looking at her.

"I didn't mean to meddle Brooke… I was just trying to…"

"Help" I cut in knowing that was what we was going to say "Yeah so you keep telling me" I retort shaking my head at her giving a little laugh "And I keep telling you I don't want or need your help… so just stop"

"I'm sorry" He apologises

I stand up with another fake smile on my face "Yeah so am i. now just drop it" I turn and stalk out of the room. I just seriously need to be left alone. I'm thankful for this party tonight. Thankful to get drunk and forget everything for a while.

-x-

**LPOV**

Rachel made me come to this party. She said that someone needed to be there to look after Brooke and even though I knew she was right I still refused to go, but she said that me not going wasn't a choice and that I was going with her and Julian just to make sure Brooke was safe and didn't do things she'd regret. So here I am now at someone's party that I do not know sipping at a glass of soda. Someone had to be the sober driver and I guess that is going to be me.

Brooke was across the room with some guy I'm sure she doesn't know. They were laughing and talking with the rest of the group he came with. There were about 3 girls and 5 guys. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel jealousy creeping into my body when I see the guy undressing Brooke with his eyes. I don't want to look like the douche ex-boyfriend who was still over protective so I just watched her with Rachel and Julian until I needed to go and save her because that is what I'm there for… I'm here at this stupid party to save Brooke when she needed it.

"We've been here 2 hours and she's drunk already" Rachel says to me and Julian as we watch Brooke from across the room. She was hanging on some guy who was holding her up by her waist "I shouldn't have let her come"

"Oh yeah because she was going to let you stop her" Julian replies taking a gulp of his beer "She wasn't letting anyone stop her Rach… we all know that"

"And that's why we're here right… to stop her from making a mistake she'll regret in the morning" Rachel says taking Julian's hand in hers "We need to keep an eye on her guys"

"Yeah I know" I nod agreeing with Brooke's red headed cousin

-x-

"I don't think we should do this" I say to the guy who was leading me upstairs "I don't feel to good" The guy just smiled at me telling me that he'll make me feel better. I shake my head, but for some reason my feet were moving and step by step I was following this guy up the stairs. Did I know him… properly not… would I end up in bed with him… properly even though I know Lucas is here somewhere. We didn't come together, but I could feel his presence anywhere so when he walked in with Rachel and Julian I instantly knew he was here.

And then before I knew it I was hearing raised voices and I felt as the guy who was holding my hand let go and I see him fall to the ground. What the hell was happening? I then feel two strong arms around me… picking me up and we were outside. I could feel the midnight air hit my face. Oh god I didn't feel to goo. Once my feet hit the ground I ran to the curb and bend over. Vomits hitting my nose making me feel sick again. That's what I get for drinking in a very long time.

"Brooke you okay" It was Lucas… it was him who saved me from doing something I properly would have regretted in the morning. Lucas had saved me.

"No" I wipe my mouth sitting on the sidewalk. Tears starting to fall down my cheeks "I'm not okay Luke"

"Brooke…" He sits down beside me rubbing my arms "Talk to me"

"I'm hurting Luke" I turn to look at him then look ahead wiping my face "I feel empty… so empty and no matter what I do I can't fill the void"

"I know what you're feeling Brooke… I'm feeling everything too"

"But the little bean was growing inside of me" I tell him still feeling the alcohol inside of me "I felt the pain and the sticky blood flowing out of me. My bed was full of red sticky blood Luke. The pain was unbearable. I felt like I was dying, but instead I was losing my baby. The baby we created. It was almost like I felt it leaving me"

"I wish I could have stopped it Brooke… I wish I could have just protected you from the pain and the more pain you felt when I told you that the baby was gone. I'm sorry I couldn't stop any of it" I look at him and I then truly knew he was sorry for everything. For not just the pain of losing the baby, but also for the pain of what he and Peyton had out me through. I knew he was truly sorry. He takes my cheek in the palm of his hand and strokes it. His touch sending electric waves through my body. I missed his touch… his soft touch "I'm sorry Pretty Girl"

I nod knowing he was. Maybe this is what I was waiting for… maybe my story was meant to go like this… maybe Lucas was meant to come to California and maybe I was meant to have a break down and talk to him… let him in, but if I'm honest I couldn't truly let him in not really. No matter how much my heart ached for him. The trust just wasn't there anymore. I love him… I do, but telling him what I was feeling doesn't change anything. I'm not going to give myself to Lucas… not yet anyway… I just need time…

**So you know the drill…**

**Press the REVIEW button below to let me know what you think**

**Much Love Always Roch xoxo**


	10. I Don't Want To Be Vulnerable Anymore

**Hey there once again… I'm really sorry that this chapter has taken longer then what I wanted, but I just wanted to make sure it was good before I uploaded it. The next chapter will take a little while to come since I have work which is being crazy at the moment and I'm getting an IPhone on Saturday so I'll be playing with that over the weekend and then you have Mother's day in the UK on Sunday and even though I'm working I will hopefully spend time with my Mum as well… so bare with me and when I get a chance I will upload and soon as I can.**

**Anyway here is the next chapter and I hope you like it… especially the ending.**

My eyes slowly flutter open when I feel the bright sun hit my face. I could feel someone in my room, but I didn't want to turn and look at them. I feel the edge of my bed go down and shift in my place. My eyes are fully open now and I'm just staring at the ceiling now. My head pounding from the headache that was starting to from at the centre of my head. I move my hand up to my head and just hold it "Morning Brooke" I sit up a little and see Lucas sitting on the edge of my bed "Here…" He hands me two aspirin with a glass of water "How's the head?"

"Its fine" I tell him with a small smile "So how did I get home anyway?" I ask actually not being able to remember anything from last night. I think I blanked out.

"Oh erm… don't you remember last night?" Lucas replies turning to face me a little and I shake my head noticing a disappointing look on his face.

"Eh… why?" I question sitting up a little more taking the pills then putting the water back on my beside cabinet "What happened last night?"

"Nothing" Lie… I always knew when Lucas was lying. He squints and his squinting now "I brought you home" He tells me "I saved you then I brought you here. You needed to puke up some of the alcohol you drunk which was a lot by the way"

"Well aren't you my knight and shining armour" I joke with a hint of a smile and just for that moment it felt like old times. When we were happy.

"Brooke…" Lucas says my name and I look at him again, but then he trails off and I can tell he wants to talk about something.

"Hmm..."

"Actually don't worry" He gets up of my bed, but something in me didn't want to let him walk out my room so my hand flies up and I stop him.

"No… Luke what is it you want to say" I ask pulling back my cover and climbing out of the bed. He dressed me too… aww he really was my knight and shining armour.

"I know how you feel?" He says sitting down again on my bed and I looked at him confused. I have no idea what his talking about.

"You know how I feel?" I ask kinking up my eye brow "Whatcha mean Luke?"

"Last night" He states sounding a little embarrassed "You got pretty drunk"

"Yeah I know" I nod with a small hint of a smile. The headache would be proof of that

"When your drunk you tell the truth Brooke" I stop what I was doing and look at him. Where was he going with this?

"Luke…" I turn back around and head into my walk in closet

"Last night we talked about what you're feeling" He tells me and I just search through my clothes picking out something to wear "You told me you were hurting and I know you are Brooke, but I'm here for you" I was listening to him… I really was… but I can't remember what I said last night… I don't want to remember what I said last night. I just carried on looking through my closet and then after I didn't say anything for a while he spoke again "Brooke…"

"Fancy going to the beach" I cut in changing the subject picking out a red bikini "I wanna go to the beach"

"Brooke…" He says my name again and just look at him "Pretty Girl talk to me"

"I don't want to talk Lucas" I state laying my red bikini on the bed "I want to go to the beach"

"Brooke stop" He stands up and walks towards me "Just stop please" He takes my hands stopping me from looking through my clothes "Please just talk to me"

"What do you want me to say Luke?" I question tears coming to the surface of my eyes "You want me to say that I hurt? You want me to say that I feel empty… you want to see me breakdown huh because if I don't act brave I think I might Luke… If I don't act like I'm going to be okay then I will breakdown and if I breakdown I'm not sure if I'll be able to come back from that" A tear slips down my cheek "I don't know what to do"

"Brooke..." He whispers my name "Pretty Girl… I'm here"

"3 months Luke… it's been 3 months and my body still hurts" I tell him feeling weak at the legs "I hurt so much"

"I know Brooke" He pulls me into him and I want to fight him off and just act like nothing has happened like I have been doing the past 3 months, but the fight in me is slowly getting hard to contain and I don't how much longer I can act like nothing is wrong "Brooke I'm always here you know that"

I then finally find the strength to push him back and look at him tears running down my face "Lucas I can't do this" I tell him shaking my head "You actually don't understand"

"Understand what Brooke?" He retorts back "Understand that I'm going through the same thing as you… understand that I lost our baby too"

"No Lucas" I reply as I feel fresh tears spilling from my eyes "You don't understand how much I love you… you don't understand how much you hurt me… how much my heart broke when I saw you and Peyton together. You might think we got pass it, but I will never forget it Lucas… and then I lost our baby and all the hurt from what you did to me and from losing the baby nearly broke me and if I let myself break I don't know if I can get back from that… so you don't understand at all"

"And you don't understand how much I regret hurting you Brooke… I guess you don't understand how much I hate that I hurt you… I'm so sorry Pretty Girl… god I'm sorry for it all… I really don't know what else to say" He responds to me and in my heart I know his sorry.

"Yeah I know you're sorry Luke" I nod looking away from him "But that doesn't mean anything has changed" I turn away from him and walk to my bedroom door "You need to go now Lucas… I need a shower" He nods at me walking towards me. My heart skips a beat everytime his near me… so having him touch me sends my body into overdrive and I have to try so hard to control myself around him.

-x-

"So Brooke got pretty drunk last night" Rachel says walking into the kitchen and over to the island "You got her home in one piece I saw"

"Yeah I sure did" Lucas nods taking a sip of his orange juice and then taking a bite of his toast "I couldn't leave her in the state she got herself in"

"Aw aren't you a knight and shining armour" Ashley says putting butter on the pancakes she made "Even though you did cheat on her with her bestfriend"

"Ashley…" Rachel said her name in a warning way.

"What…" She turned around and looked at Rachel "Did he or did he not cheat on Brooke with Peyton"

"He did" I nod seeing all eyes turn and watch me as I walk into the kitchen grabbing my favourite mug and pouring myself some coffee "But you don't get to taunt him about it since you didn't even bother to call me back after I called you regarding that situation"

"Brooke… I'm…"

"Sorry" I cut in knowing that was the word she was going to say next. I give a little laugh shaking my head "Seems like that's all anyone has been saying to me lately" I gulp at my coffee and watch as they all eat awkwardly giving another small laugh I put my coffee mug into the dish washer "I'm going out… too many unwanted people here" I walk out of the kitchen and grab my jacket by the door then taking my car keys from the key bowl on the table under the mirror.

"Brooke wait up" I hear Lucas call after me when I step out of the door. He shut it behind us.

"Hmm… yeah?" I ask checking for my phone in my bag I grabbed before opening the door.

"Are we ever going to be okay again?" He asks putting his hands in his jean pockets "I miss the way we use to be"

"I miss us too Luke" I tell him honestly. I do miss Brucas. I miss Brucas a lot and I know I'm too stubborn to admit that out loud and I know I was willing to work through everything that he had put me through, but that was when I had his baby growing inside of me… that was when I had something we would always be connect through, but now that is gone and in my mind so is the thought about us becoming Brucas again, but then my heart is telling me to forgive him completely and admit how much I truly love him and I want too… so bad I do, but I just can't… not right now "I miss Brucas just as much as you do"

"Then why are you fighting it?" He questions stepping closer to me "Why are you fighting against us?"

"Lucas…" I beg hoping the tears that are forming will not drop. I'm sick and tired of crying all the time "Please just drop it" I continue once my mind was set on words to say.

"No" He replies "I will not stop until you answer me Brooke" He wanted answers and I know he did. I wanted nothing more, but to be with him again. Tell him I love him, but I also don't want him to have so much power over me like he did before. I would have done anything for him… he was my everything and I honestly thought he was my one and only. Do I still think that way? Do I still love Lucas as much as I use to… yes I do… I would still do anything for him, but I can't let him know any of this… not again otherwise I'm not safe. My heart wouldn't be safe and I can't feel like I did before… I just can't "Pretty Girl… why are you fighting so hard to push me away… to push me right out your life"

"Lucas I can't do this right now" I tell him going to walk away, but he grabs my arm and spins me to look at him "Lucas please stop this"

"Just tell me Brooke" He pushes… why is he pushing me? He knows he shouldn't push me… not with something like this "Why fight so hard?"

"Because…" I stop to think how I was going to answer his questions and how much more I was going to admit too "Because…" Still nothing came to me, but then I couldn't help myself so I said, "Because if I let you in Luke then you have the power to hurt me again and I just can't go through that much pain… Not again. You broke me Lucas and I don't think you understand how much… I thought my world had ended when I saw you with Peyton. You were meant to be my one… my one and only and you turned out to be not my one… but my plenty… you turned out to be like every other guy and that hurt me most of all because I trust you with the one thing I cherished the most. I trusted you with my heart and you tore it apart… so that is why I'm fighting against the idea of us… that is why I'm fighting so hard Luke… I don't want to be vulnerable towards you anymore and if I tell you how I truly feel then I'm afraid you'll break me completely"

"I would never do that to you again Brooke" He states and I want to believe him. I really do "You have no idea how much I regret everything that has happened. I get that I hurt you Pretty Girl… I understand how you feel about losing our baby because I feel that loss too and I truly believe that if you let me in we can help each other because I want you to come home at some point and I want you to be able to get through this and I want to help you"

"Broody…" And then I felt fresh tears fall down my cheek

"You haven't called me that in a long time" He whispers, but loud enough for me to hear him.

"That's because it hurt so much to think of the connection we had"

"I still feel that connection Brooke" And I know what he means… I still feel that connection between us… I love him… I love him a lot.

"Broody…" He wipes the tears away from my cheek and just his touch gives me butterflies "I'm scared"

"I know you are baby" He walks closer to me so his just inches away. His ocean blue eyes lock onto my hazel ones "Please don't push me away"

"I'm tired… I'm so tired of fighting and hurting and I just want it to stop" And then I couldn't help myself I walk into him and he holds me. I then feel safe with him. I feel like I use to. I feel he is my one and only "I want it to stop"

"I know baby girl" He rocks me back and forth "God I love you Pretty Girl… so much" and I didn't reply I just held onto him closer and tighter crying harder into him "I'm here Brooke and I'm not going anywhere"

**So I hope you like it ya'll and please press REVIEW and let me know what ya'll think. Much Love Always Roch xoxo**


	11. Saved Me More Than Once

**Thank you so much for all your reviews. I appreciate them a lot. They mean so much too me… Oooo so something exciting happened this weekend… I got myself an IPhone and I love it… I love it a lot, okay so that was random, but I just wanted to share my excitement with my readers and followers and that is why I finished this chapter and uploaded it today because I'm in one happy mood. **

**Anyway I hope you are all having an awesome weekend just like I am. Happy Mother's Day for tomorrow to all you Mum's out there and a big Happy Mothers Day to The bestest Mum ever… My Mum… I love you more every day!**

**This is chapter 11…Enjoy**

So I let him in… I let Lucas in and I'm not sure if it was a good idea or if I will regret it, but right now I'm sitting in a booth at the far end of Danny's looking out of the window my chin placed in the palm of my hand and my elbow on the table. Bradley put a strawberry milkshake in front of me, but I hadn't touched it. It's been an hour and I haven't moved or done anything. Thinking… that is all I've been doing lately.

"Brooke…" I say nothing. I don't even knowledge the person standing by the table "Brooke are you okay" after about 5 minutes I turn my head and see Bradley standing by my table with a worried expression on his face "Brooke…"

"Hmm..."

"Are you okay?" He sits down opposite me putting the pad and pen he had in his hand on the table "You seem in a daze"

"I'm just thinking" I respond looking back out the window "My life would have changed a lot" I tell him "If I hadn't lost my baby I mean"

"Oh Brooke…"

"A precious little child that would have been mine" A tear slowly slides down my cheek "I can just about see what my life would have been like… would I have been a good mom? Would I have been able to cope with it all? You know the important stuff"

"Brooke maybe we shouldn't talk about this… You know I don't want you all upset" Bradley takes my hand in his and squeezes it a little.

"I told Lucas how I feel" I turn and look at Bradley. He gave me a small smile "I actually let him in and it felt good… I don't feel so alone anymore Brad and I'm glad because I was starting to believe that I would never be able to get back to how I use to be. I never thought I'd be able to get out of the darkness I was slowly drifting myself into, but then he shows up and don't get me wrong I was mad and upset that he would just show up, but then he saved me and it's not like he only saved me one time, but he saved me a lot before and I'm so thankful that he did otherwise I wouldn't be the person I am today" I slowly slip my hand out of his and pull my cardigan around my body tighter "But what do I do now?" I question out loud. Do I tell Lucas that I love him and want to try again or do I lie and tell him that I don't love him anymore because if I do that I don't think I could live seeing him with anyone else and knowing that I truly love him. I was stuck… I was stuck on what to do and my heart ached… I ached for his touch everytime his round me… I ache for his words whenever I see his name flash on my phone and then in the end I just want to jump him when I see him and give him kisses just like I use to… maybe I want Brucas back just as bad as he does "Do I tell him what I really feel for him or do I just let him go and try and move pass him?"

"Honest opinion?" He asks and I nod with tears still in my eyes "Just by looking at you I can tell that you love him Brooke… I can tell you really love him and if you let him go I think you will regret it… I think that life is too short and I truly believe in the slogan YOLO because you do only live once and if you don't take this chance you properly won't have it come around again" I know his right and I know how Lucas feels about me… he did get on a plane and come to California just to make sure I was okay… maybe I should take this chance and tell him how I really feel.

"Your right" I give a small smile then take a sip of my strawberry milkshake… it not being so cold anymore "Thank you Brad… your awesome you know that"

"I've been told" He winks at me picking up the pad and pen he had on the table "Now I have to get back to work… break time is over" He stands up and goes to walk away, but then he stops and turns to look at me "Oh and Brooke"

"Yeah?" I turn and look at him again.

"You would have been an awesome Mom" He smiles a sparkle in his eyes.

"Thanks" he nods then walks back over to the counter.

-x-

"_**How is she?"**_ Haley asks walking around her apartment she shared with Nathan "I mean I haven't spoke to her in a few days. She hasn't called"

"She's fine Hales" Lucas tells his bestfriend as he put away his washing "She's not hurting as much anymore. We talked and she finally let me in a little. I think we're getting somewhere"

"_**Oh that's good Luke"**_ Haley says sitting down on a stool at the island Nathan cooking dinner _**"I didn't think she'd ever open up to you again. I know I said have faith, but the way she sounded on the phone and then not answering your messages I just didn't know if she was ever going to let you back in"**_

"Yeah me too" Lucas nods thinking back to the messages Brooke hadn't replied too which in the end made him jump on a plane and just show up announced.

"_**SO you are coming home on Sunday right?"**_ Haley asks as Nathan sat a glass of coke down in front of her.

"Yeah Sunday morning… I'm leaving Saturday" He answers feeling sad that he was leaving without Brooke.

"_**Is Brooke coming with you?" **_

"Nah Hales I don't think she is" He replies feeling hurt in his heart "I think she wants to stay the full months here just so she's ready before seeing Peyton and Brandon's daughter… even though she let me in doesn't mean she's healed properly"

"_**Yeah I know"**_ Haley took a big swig of her drink _**"But I'm sure once she comes back everything will be okay again"**_

"Oh I hope so… I just don't want her to close up again once she sees her niece" Lucas tells Haley "I tried so hard for her to let me in again. I really don't want all that to go away… not ever"

"_**I know Luke… I know you don't"**_ Haley looked at Nathan_** "Okay well Luke I have to go Nate's made dinner"**_

"Okay well enjoy and I'll see you Sunday" Lucas responds hanging up and throwing his phone beside him.

-x-

Walking in through the front door I hang my bag up and take my jacket off putting it on the banister I plonk my keys in the key bowl on the table under the mirror and slowly walking further into the house heading for the kitchen. I can hear voices coming from the den, but instead of making myself known I just grab a bottle of water and sit on a stool.

"Hey Pretty Girl" I smile when I hear his voice turning round to face him. Butterflies always flutter in my belly when his close to me.

"Hey Luke" I take a sip of my water

"So did you clear your head?" He asks walking to the fridge and taking a soda out.

"Yeah" I nod "I've been thinking and erm… Luke… I... Eh…" Now this is weird I never get tongue tied around anyone, but around Lucas right now I seem to be getting really nervous… why is that? It's never happened before. My palms began to sweat and my whole body went cold "I… erm…"

"Your back" I turn my head and see Ashley standing by the door "I didn't hear you come in"

"You wasn't meant to" I reply jumping off the stool and still looking at Lucas giving him a small smile before I exit the kitchen knowing Ashley was following me.

"Brooke wait" She calls out, but I keep walking until I reach the stairs "Please Brooke… wait"

"Ashley what do you want?" I ask turning to face her "You come back here because Rachel calls you and what for? So we can bond… so you can void the guilt by acting like you actually give a shit about me… to stop the guilt of the promise you broke when Mom and Dad died… well guess what I don't want you here okay… I don't want you in my life so how about you walk out of that door and don't turn back" I throw at her seeing the light in her eyes shut out "You left me so you don't deserve to walk back in"

"God Brooke I'm sorry" Ashley steps towards me "I'm so sorry for everything"

"Yeah well you're a bit late with the 'I'm sorries'… you didn't bother when I called you so why bother now" I look pass her and see Lucas watching us. His eyes told me that he was there if I needed him.

"I know I messed up Brooke, but please don't shut me out… let me be here for you… please just let me make this right" She pleaded and I could see in her eyes that she meant it… she did want to make it right, but it was too late… in my mind she failed at being my big sister and just like if this was an episode out of charmed…you can't redo the past.

"Its my turn to say sorry this time Ashley… so I'm sorry, but I don't need you…maybe I did at first, but once I finally realised that you weren't coming back the need I had for you disappeared over time and right now you're no one to me… my sister died the moment she forgot about me" I then turn back around another tear slowly sliding down my cheek and I ran up the stairs… to my room and shut the door behind me.

-x-

"So she's still mad huh?" Julian asks coming out of Rachel bathroom "I heard her and Ashley's conversation… She really is upset aye"

"Yeah" Rachel nods flicking through her magazine "She won't talk to me either" She looks up at Julian "All she sees is me interfering. She doesn't see how I was trying to help her"

Julian nodded sitting on the edge of Rachel's bed "Calling Ashley wasn't the best idea you've had Rach, but I know why you did it and even if Brooke doesn't see why you called her then I guess when she's calm down some more maybe talk to her" He instructed her and she nodded "But at least her and Lucas are doing better"

"Yeah at least she was able to let me him again" She agrees with her boyfriend "I really didn't think she would be able to… I'm just glad that Lucas will be the one to be able to get her out of this funk she is in… she loves him Julian and we all know it and we all see it and even if she doesn't want to admit it to herself she knows it too" Rachel looks at her boyfriend and smiles "If she doesn't do something about it, she might lose Lucas forever and if I know my cousin like I think I do then I know she would have thought about it long enough and she'll tell him… I know she doesn't want to lose him for good"

"Promise me you won't interfere Rach" Julian warns his girlfriend outing a strand of her hair behind her ear "Promise me you'll leave them to it"

"Okay fine I'll leave them to it" Rachel caves "Just because you asked so nicely and because I love you"

"Thank you baby" Julian leans in and kisses Rachel softly on the lips "And I love you too"

-x-

I was sat at my desk with my laptop. Going through Facebook and my emails I get 1 new message pop up. It was from Brandon. I clicked on the message and saw it wasn't a picture which I was thankful for. I didn't really want to see another picture of Brandon and his happy family. He wrote an actual email… a thoughtful email…

**Brooke… I know I disappointed you and I know I abandoned you and I know that hurt. I wasn't a very good big brother and I left you alone and scared and I'm sorry. I know I've apologised before, but this one is truly coming from the heart. I miss you sis. I miss you so much and even though I have a family it isn't really complete without you. You precious to me Brooke and I know I haven't showed it in the last couple of years, but I mean it when I say that you mean a lot to me… I should have protected you from all the hurt you've received and I didn't know about Lucas and Peyton until Peyton told me the real reason why you and she are no longer friends. I would kick Lucas's ass all the way to London and back, but I know that wouldn't make you happy because you're in love with him.**

**I hope I done the right thing and gave him Aunt Sasha's address because I knew you needed him. You might have run from Tree Hill to clear your head and I know it had a huge part to do with Lucas, but you losing your baby was a huge deal to him too Brooke and I don't think you realised that leaving was being selfish on your part, but since Lucas isn't back yet I'm guessing everything is going good and you haven't kicked him back on a plane and set him here. **

**Anyway I better go… baby is up… I love you Brooke Penelope Davis no matter what happens you will always have me. I know I said that before, but this time I'm not going anywhere… so when you come back just know that Peyton and I have moved out of the house so it's your fully and know that you can't kick me out of your life that easy Missy… we are in this for the long hull… I promise.**

**Love you Always and Forever Penelope… B x**

I have never seen that side of Brandon before. He never showed any type of emotion, but here I have it in black white… Brandon showing his emotion. Maybe me trying to cut him out had more of an effect on him that I thought. I didn't know what to reply to that… I didn't know if I should reply, but I click on reply anyway and just simply type…

**I love you too… B x**

And press send… maybe that will sum up how much I miss him too. I then heard a knock at my bedroom door. I close my laptop "Brooke…" It was Lucas. My knight and shining armour "Hey…" He smiles at me when he pushes the door fully open "I just wanted to make sure you're okay"

"I'm fine" I respond facing him "Just a little worn out today… think my mind is tired of all the thinking I was doing earlier"

"I can leave if you want and let you go to sleep" He tells me and I just give a small laugh at how cute he looks… he looked worried, but I know it wasn't for me; it was because he thinks his bothering me, but he isn't… not anymore.

"Oh no Broody Boy…" I stand up and walk over to him taking his hand and guiding him into my room further sitting on my bed "You don't have to go" I sit cross legged on my bed and watch him start to get nervous. It felt good knowing I could still do that to him.

"You're sure" He breaths out "I wouldn't mind leaving"

"I don't mind you staying Luke" I smile at him giving him a real big smile in weeks "Stay"

"Okay" He nods tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear "I'll stay Pretty Girl"

"Good" I look at him… his face only inches away from my own. I could feel his hot breath on my skin giving me shivers… making butterflies flutter in my stomach. I wanted to feel those lips on mine… I wanted to feel him close to me again… I wanted to feel his mouth all over my body like I once did… I wanted Lucas Scott and I wanted him now… my body ached for his touch… so I couldn't help it… I had to kiss him again… so I done the one thing I wanted to do ever since he showed up 4 days ago… I kissed him…

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	12. Can I Actually Do This?

**Hey there you sexy people… I thank you for my reviews and I just hope people are sticking with me throughout this story because the reviews I have been getting have been very little which doesn't make me want to write more. I hope you all had a god weekend just like I had.**

**Anyway enjoy this sweet chapter and I'll update the next one son hopefully.**

"_Good" I look at him… his face only inches away from my own. I could feel his hot breath on my skin giving me shivers… making butterflies flutter in my stomach. I wanted to feel those lips on mine… I wanted to feel him close to me again… I wanted to feel his mouth all over my body like I once did… I wanted Lucas Scott and I wanted him now… my body ached for his touch… so I couldn't help it… I had to kiss him again… so I done the one thing I wanted to do ever since he showed up 4 days ago… I kissed him…_

He kissed me back cupping my face in his palm. I nearly forgot how good it was to kiss him… too feel the need of him wanting me. I uncross my legs mouth till attached to his. He leans into me so I was moving backwards to lie on the bed. He hovered over me for a second pulling apart. His ocean blue eyes looking into my honey ones. I could see he was trying to read me just like he use to. He moved my fringe out of my eyes and gave me a small smile as I played with the small hairs on the back of his neck. I know what he was trying to do… he was trying to see if I was okay to go further so I brought his head down to mine and kissed him again, he pulled back once more "You sure Brooke" I just nod feeling butterflies again.

"I'm sure" I whisper just before he crashes his lips onto mine. It felt good to feel Lucas again… it felt good to have him touch me like he used to. I missed him… I didn't realise until now… I missed him a lot.

-x-

My eyes fluttered open slowly. I held my head up and looked around the room. Okay so I was in my room still… I must have fallen asleep. I grab the alarm clock on the bedside table and saw it was 3:00 in the afternoon. Afternoon nap does me good. I put the clock back and look down at my body under the covers. I lift the covers and see I just have my underwear on and then I turned and saw Lucas lying in my bed beside me. He looked so peaceful and cute sleeping… he always did. He didn't snore which was always a plus side. I slowly get out of the bed trying not to wake him I head into my bathroom and take a shower.

Once I was done I wrapped the towel around my small frame and exited back into my room. Lucas was still asleep. I didn't want to wake him so I grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top from my drawer and got dressed tying my hair up in a high pony tail I left my room closing the door behind me. As I walked down the stairs and into the den I heard my phone ringing. I took it out of my pocket and saw Haley's name flashing…

"Hey Hales what's up" I say when I answer the phone

"_**Hey Brooke"**_ She replies _**"I was just trying to get hold of Luke. He isn't answering"**_

"Oh his asleep" I tell her shutting the door of the den and sitting down on the couch plonking my feet up on the coffee table "I can wake him if you want"

"_**Oh no don't worry about it… Nathan just wanted to talk to him that's all… he can call back later or something"**_ She answers and I nod even though she can't see me _**"How are you anyway Tigger?"**_

"Oh I'm fine thank you" I reply laying my head back on the couch head rest "Better than I was. I think I needed Luke to come here and help me out of the darkness, maybe I didn't let it show, but I think deep down I knew I needed Lucas, but I was just too stubborn to let him help me"

"_**So why did you?"**_ She questions sitting on the sofa in her room as Nathan looks through the wardrobe _**"Why did you let Lucas help you"**_

"Because he saved me" I reply like it was the most obvious answer, but it wasn't… how was she meant to know Lucas saved me… unless her told her "He keeps saving me, so why not have him save me from the darkness too"

"_**I think this means more to him than anything Brooke"**_ She tells me and I nod to myself knowing that. I can always see it in his eyes when he looks at me and that is why I believe him when he tells me he'd never hurt me again _**"Thank you for letting him in Brooke"**_

"I did it for both of us. I needed him and I guess I'm grateful that Brandon approved of him to come"

"_**Yeah me too"**_ She agrees.

I then hear some voices and the front door closing "Okay Hales I need to go, but I'll call you later or something"

"_**Okay… bye Tigger"**_ She replies _**"Love you"**_

"Love you too" I hang up the phone and put it back in my pocket just still sitting on the couch.

-x-

**LPOV**

When I woke I expected to see Brooke lying beside me, I spread my hand next to me and I don't feel her there so I open my eyes and yep just like I thought she was gone. I sit up in her bed, in her room and look around… she wasn't anywhere. Her bathroom door was open, but the light was turned off. Earlier was amazing… I've been wanting to touch her for months, but I never got the chance so when she kissed me I couldn't help myself, but I wanted to make sure she was okay with it before we slept together and she regreted it in the morning, but I guess she does anyway… Maybe it was too soon for her after everything… maybe she couldn't handle it. I climb out of the bed and put back on my jeans and t-shirt leaving her room I shut the door behind myself and head down the stairs. When I get to the bottom I see Brooke sitting on the couch in the den. I also heard voices in the kitchen, but I ignored them and headed to where Brooke was at. I slide the door open and step it sliding it closed.

"Hey you" She says with a small smile "Sleep okay"

"Your bed is so comfy" I reply sitting opposite her "So earlier was… erm…"

"Good" She adds "I mean I haven't done that in a while, but you always make me feel comfortable"

"Wait…" I sit up and lean forward a little running my hands over my face "You don't regret it"

She leans herself up and shakes her head "Of course I don't" She states putting her feet back down "Why would you think that?"

"Because when I woke up you were gone" I shrugged "I thought maybe you regret it happened… I mean were not exactly together or anything"

"Yeah okay so maybe were not together, but that doesn't change how we feel about each other Broody" She stands up and walks over to me plonking her bum in my lap, her hands hanging around my neck "I was thinking maybe we could give us another try, but we'll have to go slow and not rush things"

"You sure Pretty Girl?" I ask wrapping my hands around her waist and placing my hand on her leg "I don't want you saying this just because of what happened earlier. I want you to mean it Brooke"

"I do mean it Luke" She leans in and kisses me softly on the lips "I miss us Broody… I miss Brucas"

"Well if you're sure then I agree we should defiantly try us again" I kiss her nose as she runs her hand through my hair "Brucas once again My Pretty Girl"

"Yep Brucas once again Broody Boy" She pulls me into her and gives me a hug. A hug full of want and need. A hug I've been wanting since she tried to push me away. God I love this girl. I love her more than anything and this time round I'm not letting her go no matter what… I'm not letting Brooke Penelope Davis slip through my fingers!

-x-

There was a knock at the door. I climbed out of Lucas's grasp and skipped to the door with a smile on my face. I turned the handle and pulled it open. Mrs Branning was stood there with her 4 year old daughter Jessica. Rachel and I use to hang with her son Jason when Rachel first moved to California all them years ago. So I guess you could say I knew her pretty good. I smiled at her "Hey Claire"

"Oh hey Brooke I didn't know you'd be here" She says. Usually when I came to visit I would go and say hi and hang with Jason while Rachel was with Julian, but obviously for personal reason I just cut myself off from everything I use to do when I went to California and plus I heard Jason had a girlfriend now. I didn't really want to be the third wheel.

"Oh erm… I'm staying for a couple of months… personal problems" I tell her then I look to Jessica "Hey there Jess, how is my favourite little girl"

"Me fine Book" She replies smiling up at me "Me missed you this much" She held out her hands far apart and I laughed. A strike of pain shot through my body. Is this what my life was going to be like? Was I going to feel pain everytime I saw a kid?

"Oh I missed you too Jessie bear" I pick her up after taking a long breathe and debating it in my head and kissed her cheek then put her back down "Was there something I could do for you Claire?" I ask knowing there must have been a reason whys he was here with Jessica.

"Oh right of course" She smiled looking down at her daughter "Rachel said she'd look after Jessica for me while I went for my job interview"

Oh I was going to kill Rachel. How could she do this to me? First she calls my sister and now she sets up babysitting duties and isn't here. Could I actually do this without breaking down? Could I look after Jessica and not shut myself off again? I don't know unless I try right? Maybe this could help me get through my loss properly, maybe if doing it with Lucas was meant to help. I was still going to kill Rachel for this.

"Erm…" I look inside over my shoulder and see Lucas sitting in the den watching TV. I think I hear wrestling. We loved watching that together "Rachel isn't here right now" I tell her and see her face drop. I felt bad and I had no other choice, but to say… "But I could watch her for you… I mean if it means that much to you"

"Oh thank you Brooke" She pulls me into a hug "You're a life saver. I shouldn't be too long. She's already eaten, but you should put her down for a nap"

"Okay" I take Jessica's small hand in mine an smile down at her "Well good luck and we'll see you soon"

"Thank you again Brooke…" My heart started to beat faster as I watched her walk away. God! I don't think I can do this… panic attack… Oh fuck I'm screwed. I start to take slow breathes and head back inside shutting the door behind us. I look down at Jessica and see her staring at me rubbing her eyes. Okay so she'd sleepy "Okay princess let's take you for a nap" I walk with her down the hall to the living room. The TV was turned off. I placed Jessica on the sofa and put a blanket over her "How about a Disney movie" Her eyes widened and a small appeared across her face "Cinderella… perfect" I placed the DVD in the player and switched it on for her "I'm just down the hall sweetie" She laid her head down and shut her eyes.

"Cute kid?" I turn around and see Lucas leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and a small smirk on his face "Where she come from?"

"Next door" I respond tucking the blanket in around her "Claire had a job interview and Rachel agreed to babysit, but she isn't here so I said I'd do it"

"That was very brave of you Brooke" He leans up off the door frame and walks towards me "I'm proud of you"

"I'm still scared and I still hurt, but I think maybe doing this with you will help" I state turning and looking at Jessica sleeping. She looks so peaceful "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm gonna kill Rachel"

"Why?"

"Because she did this" I tell him "I seriously thought she'd never do anything like this to me, but I guess I was wrong…Ima kill her Broody" And then that's when I heard the front door open and shut. Voices laughing and joking. Oh Rachel you're a dead cousin…

-x-

"What the hell were you thinking Rachel?" I whisper hell as I walked pass Lucas and too the front door where Ashley, Rachel and Julian were standing "This was low even for you"

"Brooke…" Ashley goes to say, but I cut her off

"I wasn't talking to you" I bark at her looking back at Rachel "Well… explain because I don't know why you hate me so much that you want to rip me apart. I thought I came here to get away, but instead you just seem to hit me with low shots and I really don't think I take anymore"

"I was trying to help… I just thought…"

I cut her off "God! Rachel I keep telling you to leave me the fuck alone, but here you are yet again interfering when its not needed. Your meant to guide me through it… not throw me in the deep end"

"I wasn't trying too" She defended herself and I scoff shaking my head looking away from her "I know how much you adore Jessica and I knew you'd do anything for Claire so I set it up. I know how strong you are Brooke and I just don't like seeing you so broken. I know how much you wanted your little bean and I know how much it tore you apart when you lost it and I know how much you needed Lucas. I knew you loved him and I knew you still do… I knew you wanted him to come and save you and I know how much it meant to you when he turned up, you might have acted like you didn't care, but I knew deep down that you did" She states and I just look away from her not saying anything. In all honesty I didn't know what to say "And that's why I called Brandon and told him to send Lucas your way. I knew eventually Lucas wouldn't be able to stay away so I told Brandon that if Lucas came looking for my address to give it to him so he could save you" I shot my head back to look at her "I'm dory for creating all this Brooke. I seriously didn't mean it. I just wanted you happy. I love you"

"I love you too Rach" I whisper a tear rolling down my cheek "I know you were just trying to help. I guess I just held up a barrier to block everyone out"

"You know I'd never hurt you on purpose Brooke"

"Yeah I know Rach" I nod as she pulled me into her hugging me tight "Thank you" I whisper into her ear and I heard her whisper a faint 'Your welcome' before we pulled back from hug.

**PLEASE REVIEW BY CLICKING TH BUTTON BELOW!**


	13. Come Back With Me!

**Hey there my awesome readers. I am so thankful that many of you are following me and reading as I go along. I am loving this story more as I'm writing, but I'm also loving to hear what you guys think of it… I didn't get many reviews last chapter and I don't know why, but I'm continuing anyway as I promised I will finish this story. **

**I really would like more reviews so I get more motivated knowing that people are reading even if it's not a long review that doesn't matter it just shows that your all still here taking this journey with me and it also shows I'm not writing for no reason because if that is the case then I don't see the point in me writing this anymore.**

**I don't think I could stop writing this story anymore since I promised I wouldn't. Anyway thank you for the one person who always reviews ****dianehermans ****I appreciate it a lot.**

**Anyway here us chapter 13… I hope you like **

"Jessie here" I walk into the living room where the 4 year old girl was sitting watching cartoons and gave her the bowl of fruit she asked for. She woke up about an hour ago and I've been bracing myself to break down any minute, but I was doing good at the moment. I was being strong… I was showing myself that I could do this… maybe if I can do this then I'll be ready to go home sooner than what I thought and face my fear of seeing my niece.

"Tank wou Book" She smiled up at me

"No worries sweetie" I reply plonking myself down on the sofa behind her "Wanna watch the Rugrats movie?" I ask knowing she loved that film. She turned to face me her eyes going wide as she nodded fiercely "Okay" I laugh standing back up and putting the film into the video player that Rachel had kept since she was young. I'm surprised it still worked after the amount of time Rach and I used it over the years. I sat back down on the sofa when the film started to play. I laid my legs out and leaned my head back on the head rest.

"Can I join you?" I look up and see Lucas standing above me with two cans of soda in his hand. He hands me one and I nod.

"Sure"

He sits beside me picking my legs up and placing them over his own. I change my position and curled myself up beside him feeling safe. I have always felt safe with Lucas. He felt like home… he felt like my home "I'm proud of you Brooke" He whispers as the adverts on the film begin "I honestly didn't think you could do this, but I'm glad you have"

"Thanks" I retort back then kissed his cheek before putting my head back on his chest "I couldn't have done any of this with you Broody" I tell him honestly "You're my rock"

"And your mine and I don't ever want to lose you again" I felt him kiss the top of my head "Ever" I just nodded as he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

-x-

"They seem to be working through it together" Julian murmurs to Rachel as they look at Brooke and Lucas from the living room door "Maybe this was a good idea after all" He looks at his girlfriend who is just looking at the couple snuggled up on the sofa "Maybe the best idea you've had"

"I had to help her one last time J… so I took the chance and talked to Claire. She agreed and we set it up" Rachel shrugs "She needs to go home and face the fear that is written all over her face whenever she sees a kid. I knew I'd have to do this ever since we went shopping at the mall a couple months after she came here, I knew she'd get pass it, but if I know Brooke and I do then she would supress the fact of seeing kids and I couldn't have that. She needed to heal properly. I then saw her face when a kid mistaked her for her own mother… it broke Brooke's heart and I couldn't see her hurting for the rest of her life Julian… and if she hated me then she hated me… I just want Brooke happy"

He pulled Rachel into him and rubbed her arm "I think she's getting there again Rach… I think we'll have the old Brooke bad soon enough"

"God I hope so Julian" Rachel sighed turning away and walking with Julian back to the kitchen "She can't go back to the darkness because then I know for sure she won't be able to get out next time"

"I don't think Lucas would ever let her do that" Julian assured his girlfriend "He loves her too much to ever lose her again" Rachel just nodded.

-x-

I was lying on my stomach on my bed and Lucas was sitting with one leg hanging off the bed flicking through my photo album that he found when I asked him to grab me my pj's earlier. This one was tucked under my clothes, just so it was hidden away from prying eyes. I smiled at him when he waved it at me and told him he could look at it after he pouted for about an hour.

"So you're leaving tomorrow morning right?" I ask picking at my comforter. I didn't want Lucas to leave, but I knew he had to… he has school to get back too on Monday and even though it will suck without him I can't go back with him and I know he wants me too. I could see it on his face when he looked at me right now. Lucas was like an open book… very easy to read.

"Yeah" he nodded still going through the album "Flight leaves at 10:00am"

"So this is our last night together then?"

"You could always come with me Brooke" He says turning his body more to me. I look away from him and down at my comforter.

"Not right now I can't Luke" I tell him sitting up straight and dangling my legs off the bed swinging them like a child "I'll be coming home just before graduation like I said before" I tell him not missing the disappointing look on his face "6 more months Luke"

"But I don't want to be away from you that long" He pouts finally making me laugh. I crawl into his lap and he wraps his arms around me "I'll just miss you that's all Pretty Girl"

"I know Broody" I kiss him softly "I'll miss you too" I then look down at the album and turn the pages for him "Remember that summer" I point to a picture of Lucas and I in the ocean.

"I sure do" He nods "That was the day you told me you couldn't fall in love with me"

"_**You know… it's not nice throwing people in freezing water!" I yell once I come up from the water. Lucas had run and picked me up throwing me into the ocean with him. I was fully dressed and I wasn't happy "I should drown you right now Scott"**_

"_**Oh I wouldn't do that if I was you Pretty Girl" He says picking me up and throwing me again. Oh god! I came back up from the water again and glared at him.**_

"_**Why shouldn't I?" I ask**_

_**I see a smirk appear on his face "Because you wouldn't want to drown the guy who has your heart would you"**_

_**I kink up my eye brow "Who said anything about you having my heart Broody Boy because I sure as hell didn't" I throw back at him walking out of the water having him follow me. Great my new channel jumper was ruined… thank you Lucas Scott for ruining my favourite sweater "Oh and you're paying for this sweater by the way"**_

"_**Sure" He shrugs like it was no big deal, but then again he did just inherit a lot of money from his grandmother on his dad's side "Oh and don't act like you don't love me Brooke because we both know you do so don't try and fight it as we already know the heart wants what the heart wants"**_

"_**You two fighting again" Haley asks coming back from wherever she and Nathan disappeared too earlier.**_

_**I ignore her and narrow my eyes at the blue eyed blond with that stupid smirk on his face. Oh how I wanted to wipe that look off his face "I couldn't love you anyway"**_

"_**Oh are Brucas fighting again?" Peyton laughs sitting up on her elbows "You can feel it in the air guys" I turn and narrow my eyes at her and she lays back down on the towel she was lying on.**_

"_**We are not Brucas" I state rinsing the water out of my hair and top.**_

"_**Why couldn't you love me?" Lucas questions walking closer. I swear I heard some hurt in his voice. It's not like were together or anything. I would never get with Lucas Scott.**_

"_**Because you're the biggest player ever and I don't get played Scott…" I respond giving him a one shoulder shrug and turning away from him "And besides I would never date you anyway Broody Boy"**_

"You would never date me huh?" He pulls me into him tighter kissing the side of my head and then my cheek "That didn't last long aye"

"To my defensive it lasted quite long" I defend my comment "If I remember correctly after I told you that you made it your mission to get me" I think back to all the months it took him to finally get me to go out with him "It took what… 5 months before I actually said yes to a date"

"Okay fair point" He caved "It wasn't easy, but I liked the challenge" He says making me laugh.

"And I liked the date" I kiss him "Fair ground was properly the best date ever"

"Yeah considering it was your choice… I'm glad you liked it"

"Oh I wasn't going to no boring dinner Luke" I laughed "So I added extra fun to the date and besides that was what gave you extra points of me agreeing to another date"

"Well I got you in the end so whatever I had to do I would have done" He gives a one sided shrug.

"Oh well if I knew that I would have made you dress up like a girl and prance around the whole school" I joked getting up out his lap and walking over to the closet taking out my jewellery box "But I guess when I received this I knew I was in trouble" I held up the 'Brooke I love you' Necklace he had brought me for our first official anniversary "I knew I was in deep trouble"

"That moment at the beach when I realised I wanted you because I knew it was going to be challenge was the moment I knew I was in true trouble… I knew that moment that I could fall in love with you, but I went ahead and proceeded to get you anyway and I'm glad I did because I got to meet the real Brooke Davis behind all the walls you have up at school" He tells me and I give him a small smile in return.

"This was the best present I ever received after my parents died Luke" He stands up and walks over to me pulling me into him and then kissing my cheek. His lips felt so soft on my skin.

"A pretty necklace for a pretty girl" He says with a smile giving me a little wink which I blushed under. I unclipped the necklace and put it on. I missed not wearing it. I use to wear all the time, but then with everything that had happened I put it away, but now I'm just happy I can wear it again.

-x-

"_**But I don't get why your leaving" a 13 year old me says to my 20 year old sister**_

"_**I have to Brooke" She says to me packing her things in boxes. I looked around her room and saw boxes stacked all around. Her room looked bear. It was weird one minute her room is filled with everything and looking pretty and then the next minute it looks empty**_

"_**But why?" I had tears filling my eyes "Why are you leaving me?"**_

"_**Oh Brookie" She turns to look at me. Her long brown hair sitting on her shoulders "I'm not leaving you… I'll always be there for you I promise. I'm just going away to school" **_

"_**Why can't you go to school here?" I question not understanding why she had to leave me to go to school.**_

"_**Because I have to go away to school Brooke" She answers standing up and grabbing some more clothes putting them in the suitcase she had on her bed "I'm sorry"**_

"_**But what about me" I ask feeling tears start to burn the centre of my eyes **_

"_**I'm sorry Brooke" Was all she replied and from that day on I knew I couldn't trust anyone.**_

I slid the wardrobe door closed and sit back on my bed. That memory going through my head ever since Ashley turned up. I seriously don't know what Rachel was thinking because honestly Ashley would have been the last person to call, actually I wouldn't have wanted her to know anything about my life anymore since she walked out and didn't look back not once…

**So there you have it… Lucas is going back to Tree Hill in the next chapter without Brooke… So Rachel is the one that got Lucas too California…Will Brooke stay in Tree Hill after graduation and go to college with Lucas or will she moved to California for good and go to college without Lucas? Stay tuned in and find out real soon!**

**Much Love Always Roch xoxo**


	14. Where Is He?

**Hi there guys… **

**So this chapter has a little twist to it and I know you guys aren't going to like it, but I had to do something to spice it up a little and the thing I choose was this and I'm sorry if you don't like it, but keep reading to see what goes on next.**

**So I have a lot on my plate at the moment so chapter 15 might be a little late… I have My Bestfriend coming over and I have work which tires me out a lot so bare with me and hopefully it won't be too late for me to write it then update. **

**Well anyway I hope ya'll have an awesome weekend just like I will and I really hope you like this chapter… so here it is Chapter 14…**

**ENJOY!**

It's been 3 weeks since Lucas has gone back to Tree Hill and I miss him. I miss him like crazy and I have nearly booked a flight back home, but then I think back to my niece and I just can't do it. I talk to Lucas everyday… He calls me in the morning and we talk forever. I love him… I really do and watching him walk away from me and get on that plane killed me. I want the feeling of him with me back. I miss the security. I sit at my desk my laptop on the table. I had just sent off all my exams which means I can now graduate with my class when I go back. I close my laptop and hear my phone ring… I look over at the clock... it's the time Lucas normally calls. I rush over to my phone and answer it straight away without looking at the caller id.

"Hey Broody" I smile into the phone waiting to hear his voice "Broody" I say again when I don't hear his voice "Lucas… you there"

"Brooke…" It wasn't Lucas's voice… that was definitely not Lucas's voice "Brooke… Tiger"

"Oh Haley hey" I sit on my bed… it was weird Haley calling me. She doesn't do it normally. Especially when I replied to her email last night "What's up?"

"Brooke…" He toned turned sour and cold…. What the hell is going on? "Brooke I'm sorry"

"Sorry…" I was confused. What did she have to be sorry about? She was scaring me… the last time I had this type of conversation was when Peyton told me she was pregnant by my brother.

"Haley…" I say her name cautiously standing up from my bed "Haley you're scaring me"

"Brooke… it's Lucas" Okay so now I'm officially worried. I only talked to him last night. What could have happened to him between that time? My eyes automatically fill with tears. My heart sunk… I had a bad feeling… a real bad feeling.

"What about Lucas… Haley what's happened?" I ask feeling a tear slide down my cheek

"Lucas collapsed Brooke… he was at the river court with Nathan and he collapsed" My heart began to race… I couldn't lose Lucas… not now… not ever. He has to be okay… I need to be there with him… I guess my stay here in California has become short.

"OMG" I whisper more to myself knowing Haley heard me "Is he…I mean is he eh…"

"His in hospital Brooke" She tells me and I relax a little "The doctor done some test, but Brooke his in a coma and they don't know if he will wake up this time" this time? I know he collapsed before, but he never went into a coma… he woke up straight away "I'm sorry" I sit at my laptop and Google for a ticket.

"I've booked my ticket Hales" I tell her "I'll be home soon" I then hang up and pack all my things up… I guess I'm going back to Tree Hill.

-x-

I scribble down a short note for Rachel before my cab arrives which will be any minute now. I stick it to the notice board by the door.

_**Rach had to go back to Tree Hill. Lucas collapsed and his in hospital. I'll call you when I can and thank you for everything. I love you and Julian to pieces. Speak later… B xxx**_

"Going somewhere Brooke" I walk down the stairs with my things when I hear my cab pulling up. My flight was in 2 hours and I wasn't missing my plane.

"Yeah" I nod turning to see Ashley standing behind me "I'm going home"

"Brooke…" She says my name worriedly "You don't have to leave because I'm here"

"Oh for god sake Ashley not everything is about you" I reply rolling my eyes "And if it was because of you I would have left a bloody long time ago"

"Then why you leaving?"

"Because I have too" I reply opening the door putting my things down outside

"Brooke…"

"Lucas is in hospital" I tell her "I need catch my flight… I have to go" And before she can reply I'm shut the door putting my things in the cab and heading to the airport. I need my broody to be okay… I need Lucas to open his beautiful blue eyes for me… I just need Lucas back.

-x-

I walk out of the Tree Hill airport looking back at the sign. I know it was the right thing coming back especially since Lucas is in hospital, but I cant help but think was I in the right state of mind when I booked the ticket and got on the plane… I'm not so sure knowing that I'm in the same state as my niece and I know I'll have to meet her now because I know they will all be at the hospital and I know seeing her with my niece is going to break my heart into pieces, but if I can I'm going to avoid that scene… I'm here for Lucas and that's all.

I climb into a cab I manage to pull over. My bags in the boot. I click my seat belt into place "Tree Hill hospital please" The man looks at me strangely, but doesn't say anything so neither do I.

The journey to the hospital made my insides turn. My heart ached and my head felt like it was going to explode. All these emotions came rushing through me and I have no idea how to control any of them and I'm scared I won't be able to when I walk into the building we are pulling up outside right now. I thank the man paying him then taking my bags I walk to the entrance. I remember Haley telling me they were going to be on floor 5… waiting room 4. I pace to the elevator and press the button waiting for it to arrive. My palms start to get clammy and I begin to feel hot… like really hot… my stomach turns and I feel sick. This was getting to me way too much… I then think back to my shock early yesterday morning after talking to Lucas… I think back to my calendar and the fact that my period hadn't arrived yet. I was already 2 days late, but I couldn't be pregnant right… I mean I know it's happened to be before just 4 months ago. I shake those thoughts out of my head and look down at my open bag with the pregnancy test which was in the box. I bought it before I got on the plane and did it while I was on the plane. I hadn't looked at it yet, but I did it for good measure, but I haven't looked at it for the simple reason of Lucas being here in this awful place. The place I hate most. The place full of ill people and death… I haven't looked at it because I'm scared of the outcome and I'm scared that if I am indeed pregnant and Lucas leaves me then I'll be left a single Mom bringing up a baby I would have loved to share with my soul mate.

The door open and I step inside and press floor 5. The doors close and my heart races. What condition was Lucas really in? What if he actually doesn't wake up? What if he leaves me? I don't know what I'd do if Lucas wasn't here with me… I don't know if I could handle that after everything we've been through together. Once I feel the elevator stop I take a deep breath has the doors open I walk out and down the corridor until I reach waiting room 4. I take another breath and push down on the handle opening the door to reveal exactly who I knew I'd see. Peyton with my niece. I avoided eye contact on that one. Haley and Nathan were there of course and then you had Karen and Keith too. I also see Brandon sitting in the corner with a shocked expression on his face obviously not knowing I was coming. I didn't know what to say or do… I had braced myself for this the whole time, but now I'm here it was hard… it was really hard especially not having Lucas here to help me through it like he promised instead I'm here to make sure he wakes up and make sure he doesn't leave me anytime soon.

"Brooke…" Haley embraces me into a hug first "I missed you" She whispers to me.

I give her a small smile when we both pull away "I missed you too Tutor Girl" I tell her honestly. I really missed her and her helpful ways. Even if we did talk all the time it wasn't the same.

"Oh Karen" I say walking over to the middle aged brunette women who had tears strolling down her face. I bring her into a hug and feel her tighten it showing me she missed me just as much as the others "I'm so sorry" I could hear the faint cries she was letting out. It broke my heart. A child is never meant to outlive their parents and right now no one knows if Lucas will pull through… not even the doctors "God! I'm really sorry"

She pulls out of the hug and gives me a small smile "He missed you, you know" I nod knowing that fact already. He would tell me every day when we talked on the phone.

"I know" Was all I could get out right now. A tear slipped down my cheek

"I'm glad he went after you" She tells me and I feel my chest tighten. I was glad he turned up in California too even if I didn't show it at first. I was happy because he was fighting for me and that's all I wanted. Him to not ever give up on us and he didn't and he won't… he can't give up… not yet… not ever… I need him… we all do "You are the best thing in his life other than the future his meant to have Brooke… You have to know he truly loves you and he would have done anything for you… You must know that right" I nod again knowing all this, but why is she saying it? Why is she giving me the goodbye speech my Aunt gave me when my parents died? Lucas wasn't going to die… he was going to fight… he had to fight.

I pull away from Karen completely and look at everyone in the room. They all looked defeated. They all look like someone had died already… Wait! Lucas couldn't already be dead could he? NO! My Broody wouldn't leave me… I know he wouldn't "Where is he?" I question looking from my brother to Haley to Nathan then back to Karen "I said…" My heart began to race and I just won't let myself believe any of their expressions on their faces. I want to see him… I want to see My Lucas "Where is he?" No one says anything. I look away and grab my bag. Turning my back to them I take the test out of my bag and look at it. My emotions getting the better of me. I put the test back in my bag and throw it down on the seat beside me "I want to see Lucas and I want to see him now so either one of you take me to him or tell me where he is before I go all Brooke Davis on this joint" I tell them all. I see Karen's handing shaking so I look at Haley "Haley… I'm warning you!"

"His in room 555" I turn my body to Nathan and give him a simple nod which he returns. I don't wait for anyone else to talk as I walk out the room taking my bag with me and leaving my other ones. I heard Haley ask Nathan why he gave me the room number and his response was she needs to say goodbye just like we have. I wasn't saying goodbye to Lucas… I couldn't… I was going to wake him up… I know he will wake up… He has to wake up… I need him… I need him so bad.

I get to room 555 and look through the window before entering just so I know what I'm walking in on. Lucas was laid out on the bed with wires coming out of him. I didn't actually know why he collapsed I didn't ask… I don't know how bad the damage is… I didn't ask, but what I do know is that Lucas Scott is going to wake up because he loves me and I know he would never leave me after fighting so hard to get me twice. His a fighter and that is why I fell in love with him. I walk into the room and over to his bed. He looked so peaceful sleeping there like that. I sat in the big arm chair beside his bed and stroked his face with my free hand. He was warm. I sat up a little kissing his cheek.

"He can hear you Miss" I didn't even notice the nurse come in after me. I was just focused on Lucas. I turned to smile at her. Her name badge reading Mandi. She collects some papers then leaves, I hear as the door shuts behind her.

"Hey there Broody long time no see huh?" I say trying to make a joke, but I fail because I don't laugh and I know he can't "I'm sorry I didn't come with you" I tell him tears forming in my eyes "I was selfish again and I let you get on that plane alone. I should have just agreed and let you take me home, but I didn't and now here we are. You in a hospital bed and me coming home anyway, but unfortunately not on good circumstances. God Lucas you have to wake up baby" A tear escapes and slides down my cheek "You have to open those beautiful blue eyes for me because you owe me Mister… You don't get to come to California and make me fall in love with you all over again and then leave me weeks later… That's not fair and you know it" No response "Lucas Eugene Scott you wake up, you hear me… I swear to god I will not forgive you if you leave me… Please baby just give me a sign… I need to know you're going to wake up… please just give me a sign" And then that's when I heard it… It wasn't the sign I wanted. It was my fear happening all over again. Flashes of my dad popping into my head… It was the sign of giving up… Not believing and I couldn't give up. I just couldn't… I have to push riding on him waking up. I need him to wake up, but instead I hear the line go flat… Beeping sounds coming from the machine connected to his heart. Lucas had gone into cardio arrest. My heart stopped as the nurses and doctors came rushing into the room. One of them telling to go outside. My world seemed to be crashing around me and before I knew it I was screaming…

"LUCAS! NOOOOOO!"

**So I had to do it… I had to leave it as a cliff hanger, but it's not like it matters since I'm not getting as many a s reviews as I did before, but hey what the hell I'm going to finish it one way or the other. Hope you liked it… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. Just click REVIEW bellow! Much Loves Always Roch xoxo**


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